THEY MADE A NEW ANACONDA MOVIE AND GOT IT ALL WRONG. THE SNAKE WAS SUPPOSED TO SIMPLY KILL AND EAT THE PATHETIC DIRTLINGS [AND ALSO THANDIWE NEWTON].

I LAUGHED. I ALSO DRANK. I'M GONNA WATCH THE OLD ONE WHERE JON VOIGHT TRACHS ERIC STOLTZ.

STRAP IN BECAUSE I FEEL A THREAD COMING.

WHEN DID MOVIES ALL GET THIS UNCANNY, VIDEO GAMEY QUALITY WHERE ALL THE EXPLOSIONS ARE TOO BIG AND NONE OF THE NEEDLE DROPS FEEL EARNED? DO THEY HAVE TO PLAY "BACK IN BLACK" TO INTRODUCE BIG MOMENTS NOW? WHY IS EVERYONE NOW SOMEHOW STUPIDER THAN ME?

I WANTED SO BADLY FOR THE PREVIEWS TO BE ON ACTUAL FILM SO THAT I MIGHT USE THEM TO STRANGLE THEIR CREATORS. ALAS, NO. ALL DIGITAL. ALSO I THINK FILM TEARS PRETTY EASILY.