[The Functional Integrity and Culinary Designation Act](https://this-law-does-not-exist--rob.on.websim.ai/?id=0195475d-b0e8-7f1e-85c5-a6d02b5beb34)

It shall be unlawful for any person within the jurisdiction of the United States to:
(a) Disseminate information that explicitly or implicitly equates a monad with a burrito.
(b) Employ the term 'burrito' to describe a monad in any educational setting, professional communication, or public forum.
(c) Present, display, or create any visual representation that depicts a monad as a burrito, including but not limited to diagrams, illustrations, and multimedia content.

> Repeat offenders may be required to complete a mandatory retraining program on the fundamentals of functional programming and Mexican cuisine, as determined by the Secretary of Education.