@thj@mastodon.cloud Yea I think part of the problem there is how we define love, rather than love itself.

We see love as "I will never leave you" or even "I will always put you on a pedastol". Which we do that because we want the person to feel safe and secure, because we care about them. But in the end it isnt healthy IMO in that form (at least not for me).

For me I realize taht love is just a very loaded term all around and not a very useful word because it can mean so many different things. For me the real meaning of love is simply "I will always want to see you happy", and in that sense I love a great many people, including the people I have casual sex with, and even the people I know i will never see again.

happiness requires honesty to thrive. That means knowing that when people are being destructive to your own happiness, that perhaps you need to distance yourself from them. This isnt out of lack of love but rather you dont want your own happiness to be destroyed and ultimately by extention hurt them in the process, or hurt your own ability to be good for other people in your life who are doing the hard work it takes to have mutual love to some degree.

Love, if it is to reach its potential, isnt something you give fully to everyone you get close with or have sex with. Love, or at least the things we think of when we think of love, is something to be worked at, by both parties, something to be earned and renewed. Yes "love" in the typical sense may be conditional but compassion is not, and to me that is the true love even if we dont call it as such.