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Pleading to others is a bit futile when you are almost the only one feeling how you do about life, and almost nobody else.... 

Maybe one or two people (literally) feels something partially or for a fleeting moment but overall not much, *at least not to the level of sentimentalism or dedication I seem to have* and ability to cover a lot of attempts quickly in reply.

Just too much in either or many ways. No will power or belief...

To try my best means it only rebounds incorrectly back in my face causing more harm to people from confusion or misinterpretation or defensiveness etc... (it's more misunderstood / tangential / unwanted attention or it's simply just not felt by others - rather than helpful).

It's part of life perhaps, by it is possible to bang your head on wood too easily expecting different. So being more certain somehow is the way...

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