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This wasn't quite the "magic of parenthood" that I expected.

The trouble with waiting to exercise until after you’ve eaten is leave me alone I’m so sleepy

I love #science. I live and breathe it as both my job and one of the main ways I interact with the world. But science is human. It's political. It reflects the values of those who fund and pursue it.

We've never passively collected data and followed where it leads. We go where we point, and where we're pointed. I'd love us to be able to appreciate the elegance of science as a tool - a wonderful tool - without trying to falsely elevate it above, or separate it from, the rest of our human mess.

I’d cut a bitch for a corner piece of cake.

How big of a platform is @twitter? Now that @elonmusk made view counts public, we (@_mohsen_m) can find out

ANSWER: Not nearly as big as it looks! For accounts with lots of followers, only a small fraction (~1%) see median tweet 😬 (and this overcounts, as it includes RT views)

Eventually you have to accept that no matter how many different notebooks you buy, they won’t make you a better writer. For that, you need to spend a lot of money on the right pen.

Starting to think we should never have crawled out of the ocean 400 million years ago.

👇A short interview of an American fighting with Ukraine
He has a pointed message for the Russians 🤣
#USA #Ukraine #UkraineRussianWar

I know things ordinary people don't know because ordinary people don't talk to squirrels.

Getting dressed everyday is just a scam created by Big Laundry.

If she drinks red wine. Maybe the carpet matches the grapes.

[getting arrested] I'm just really not in the headspace for this right now

Don’t wait until you are desperately sneaking through your house in the dark trying to avoid a crazed murder to realize you should have oiled those door hinges.

I don't negotiate with terrorists unless they're my children and I'm trying to get them to do literally anything

Does anybody happen to know of a toot scheduler, a Mastodon client that handle a chronological queue for posts?

This would be handy for @SkepticalScience here, among other purposes.

Or it's going to be an opportunity to begin messing with the API. Which is not so bad, except the clock on the wall doesn't count to 36 hours per day.

#MastodonScheduler

ah @rafial, relevant xkcd by randall @monro here:

Thinking of buying from audible.com or iTunes?

Remember, if you unauthorizedly copy something, it’s yours for life. You can take it anywhere and it will always work.

Flowchart: (You’re a Criminal)<-Unauthorizedly Copy<-(Buy or Unauthorizedly Copy)->Buy->(Things Change)->(You Try to Recover Your Collection)->(You’re a Criminal)

But if you buy DRM-locked media, and you ever switch operating systems or new technology comes along, your collection could be lost.

And if you try to keep it, you’ll be a criminal (DMCA 1201).

So remember: if you want a collection you can count on, UNAUTHORIZEDLY COPY IT.

Hey, you’ll be a criminal either way.

(If you don’t like this, demand DRM-free files)

Natasha Lyonne's TV career seems to consist of her stumbling into random situations and going "welp, guess I'm doing this now" and I can't get enough of it

Did you know you can freeze whole lemons!

I love doing this because they're much cheaper per lemon when you buy a bag of them than when you buy just one or two.

I let them sit out to thaw, and I use the juice as I normally would. Or I slice them up and put them on fish to bake.

Better yet, lemons are far easier to zest when they're frozen.

#MyBestCookingTip #cooking #lemons

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