helping people when they didn't ask can be a form of criticism
i say as a recovering helper
in a way, it's more aggressive than unsolicited advice
i remember when i told my (former, for reasons) therapist about this meme a friend had posted about helpers and how much they hated helpers, and that it's actually selfish and etc etc and i was feeling so attacked. i told her about it and sent it to her and she was also shocked about it
but of course many therapists are parentified children who feel like they have to help to earn love
i found it in my old email and the therapist had replied "oh no"
it's funny because reading it now, after several years of unsolicited advice about my chronic illness which has led me to be absolutely unable to handle unsolicited advice, this seems perfectly reasonable. as a parentified child, this is something i have been working on for several years and will continue to for probably ever.
I don't think we can make a template like this and see it applied to everybody, at any stage.
Being sick, I remember finding real hard to ask for help, and people not offering. Not good.
I think when someone is in a spot few have experience with, it is hard to know how to help or even be with them. And it works both ways.
The real golden rule is "if somebody doesn't want your help, never insist".
