I discovered a new (new to me) technique for thinking which questions to ask in conversations (which may be a really no-brainer in most cases for most people, but there's of course always room for improvement with all things). It's really obvious, but not obvious too. You just ask yourself what questions you yourself would love to hear if you were the other person. Those aren't necessarily the questions they would actually respond best too, but they're probably closer

The real trick, it seems, is training yourself in meditation and with TAP reinforcement routines to use this technique after the fact. ie: After you have already been in a conversation, rerun the scenario again in your head, simulating yourself applying the technique, do this N times over (3 seems effective). Over time, theoretically, you'll internalize applying it quickly, producing more engaging and preferred questions for your conversation partner. In my experience, this seems to be how it works in practice