Oh goodness, I'm stuck in a difficult situation with a manuscript. I'm trying to write (and be engaging) for a journal audience who likely aren't particularly big on our topic, whereas my colleague prefers a much drier and more passive style. I'm concerned that without a good hook, our work will go mostly unnoticed, even in this relatively high-profile journal.

Of course, this is primarily for the introduction, we get on to the "boring" stuff in the preliminaries and model formulations as needed. But at the very least, I'm hoping to implicitly signal to readers "yeah, this isn't your usual programming, but stick around, grab some eggnog and enjoy a well written, engaging piece of academic literature".

I'm basing my assessment on Helen Sword's "Stylish Academic Writing" book, which is an excellent guide, even for the hard sciences (she did a huge survey across fields before writing the book). Unfortunately, convincing others to deviate even slightly from the poorly written style they're accustomed to reading is....difficult, to say the least.

Anyone willing to offer some advice?