@byllgrim@mastodon.xyz interest is an illusive word. Not very well defined. Is it conscious or subconscious? Is it a cause or an effect?
I think it's better to define it as conscious, and that everyone has got to be interested in everyone else, it's just that they are not always engaging enough to comfortably explore the interest. So yeah maybe need to try to be more engaging for others (I guess that's what steering conversation means?), and then worry about how to get rid of them instead. You can't decide your feelings or their behavior, but you can decide your behavior. I don't think there are any mysteries or tricks to it.