Someone who uncritically promotes the fediverse and the "run your own server" thing also ignore the emotional burden.

Someone might have to negotiate with hundreds, if not, thousands of other servers, and engage in otherwise avoidable admin / fedi drama.

When someone proposed a small scale governance initiative, one which went nowhere, someone might fling accusations of trying to rule the fediverse and fire off instance blocks. Someone might also lift quotes out of context.

Inter-instance censorship is promoted as a silver bullet for personal pet issues and is used liberally generally.

Inter-instance censorship has even been applied in a case where someone didn't want to moderate content in a particular language on their own server as they did not have the moderative capacity to. Others blocked them citing "colonialism". And simultaneously, they are held to unrealistic expectations for moderation.

Like "colonialism", there are various unspoken rules which crop up at seemingly random times to blow up into bubbles of drama.