With apologies to ZZ Top:

Stained shirt, no shoes
And I don't know what I am gonna do
No shave, red eyes (red eyes)
I don't need a reason why-hy-hy

They come runnin' just as fast as they can
'Cause every girl crazy 'bout an unkempt man

Gamepad, Elden Ring
I ain't missin' not a single thing
Cold milk, mints thin
Not steppin' out, I'm gonna just stay in

They come runnin' just as fast as they can
'Cause every girl crazy 'bout an unkempt man

Slept in, past noon
And once a week I have to meet on Zoom
Big gulp, sweat pants
Spilled some crumbs, that's how you get ants

They come runnin' just as fast as they can
'Cause every girl crazy 'bout an unkempt man