@ninesigns That's what i thought
There's a lot of server you can choose. Or even created it yourself.
Client ? Ton of it. Don't like it. Forked it.
@ninesigns
clients :
Go read.
https://xmpp.org/software/clients.html
For chats i recommend using "dino" or "gajim" on desktop and "conversations" on android
Always use either otr, omemo or pgp for encryption otherwise all your communication is plaintext (if your server used an https protocol. It's encrypted on transmission. But still it's stored as plaintext on the server unless you used either that encryption method that i listed above.)
For sociao media use movim.
For further details read docs at xmpp.org
Server :
https://the-federation.info/ sure provide server list.
Cheers!