It's a mystery to me
The game commences
For the usual fee
Plus expenses
Confidential information,
It's in a diary
This is my investigation,
It's not a public inquiry

I go checking out the reports
Digging up the dirt
You get to meet all sorts
In this line of work
Treachery and treason,
There's always an excuse for it
And when I find the reason
I still can't get used to it

And what have you got at the end of the day?
What have you got to take away?
A bottle of whisky and a new set of lies
Blinds on a window and a pain behind the eyes

Scarred for life
No compensation
"Private Investigations"