Good morning! It's April Fool's Day, so as is my tradition I'm going to spend the day telling terrible jokes. Here's a classic to set expectations:
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh!
You'd think it would be safe for a peanut to walk in the park, wouldn't you? But I just heard about one who was a salted!
I asked my contractor how much it was going to cost to install my new roof. He told me it was on the house.
When you think about it, it's obvious why birds fly south for the winter.
It's way too far for their little legs to walk.
I'm so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.
I decided to become an astronaut to get over my claustrophobia - after all, I just need some space.
Did you hear about the new kind of shovel they invented? It's groundbreaking!
I went to the wedding of two people who work in the cell-phone industry. The ceremony wasn't much to write home about, but the reception was amazing.
I got fired from my job as a calendar designer. I feel like the overreacted - all I did was take a couple days off.
@noelle This happened to me once. A customer called to say that the program I wrote showed wrong days of the week. The program had been running for years in a couple of dozen places, and it had some glitches, but never this. I spent a few hours reviewing the code, then I went to the customer's office and sat at his desk. There was this little desk calendar by the computer. The days of the week were all wrong for that month. A fucking printing error at the calendar factory that cost me a few hours of work and frayed nerves (I take such things seriously).
