C library functions are always like: "SYNOPSIS. This function converts foos into bars depending on the user locale. ARGUMENTS. src and dest pointers must be distinct; it is undefined behavior if they are not QPU-aligned. RETURN VALUE. Returns the number of foos converted. A zero value indicates failure, or that zero foos were converted. A negative value indicates that the final foo was only partially converted (function got tired). Check this global variable to find out why."

@typeswitch & there is a seemingly endless number of variant functions for: takes a va_list; converts into strings instead of bars; converts into "wide" bars instead of the original bars from the 1970s that everyone still uses; doesn't buffer overflow instead of buffer overflowing by design; allocates the new bars automatically; is secure instead of insecure by design; is threadsafe instead of thread unsafe by design, etc. etc. etc. with each of these properties identified by a single letter prefix (or sometimes suffix) and each variant function prefixed by a mess of these characters so the name looks like
vaswnxudfootobar_lrpze()

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@fraggle @typeswitch maybe y'all should suggest a usable systems language built on C.

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