computer jobs are grunt work for the ultra wealthy. why did i specialize in this field.

idk. the tech job market is generally pretty fucked rn. where are the jobs that benefit normal people. my friend who works on a farm doesn't need to battle with the idea of his field funding mass surveillance. he goes out, picks vegetables all summer, and sells them to the local farm. everyone around here benefits from his work in a pretty direct way.

my options as someone versed in tech feel super limited in this sense. if i want to actively harm the world, i can work for a military contractor or in surveillance. or both. if i want to at least keep the status quo, which isn't really much better, i can sell my soul to insurance companies, banks, or someone in a financial sector. but those people aren't helping anyone in local communities.

what do i do. where are the jobs that benefit society. why did we as a society decide that technology should be used as a tool to do widespread harm. i don't want to do that.

sorry im getting really tired and just have no idea what to do with my life at this point. i really need some sort of job because i'm basically relying on family to keep me afloat at this point, and they're not really able in any position to continue doing that. but there are very few things that feel worth it to me.