coronavirus ---, mh ---, sui ideation
.? I'm so upset. We did everything right. We isolated for the whole thing. It hit us hard. We've been wearing masks since March. We did nothing outside but the critical stuff for more than a year. We were hyper fucking aware of every little thing we touched.
now we were just starting to relax and enjoy life a little and, I dunno, /meet some desperate fucking needs/ and /this shit/ happens. like it just *wasn't enough.* ffuuuuuuuuuckkk.
coronavirus ---, mh ---, sui ideation
.? …you know what this is? this is just the latest in the long-running saga of /nothing we do is ever good enough for the world/.
oh, sure, we're good enough for the creatures near us. and we love and appreciate them.
but we have never been good enough for the world, and maybe we never will be, and so we just get all of the hardship all of the time forever.
i would like very much to just go home and stop worrying about all of this bullshit, but that would require either the world to stop being fucking shitty real quick (ha, fat chance) or somecreature to take us in (which nocreature has the capacity to do).
fine. can i just die then?
coronavirus ---, mh ---, sui ideation
.? so my choices are to revert and suffer in silence for another year, or two years, or half a decade, however long this trash fire lasts
or to make exceptions…and become /that asshole/, the horrible person that flouts the precautions and gets creatures killed.
/lovely./
coronavirus ---, mh ---, sui ideation
@moonbolt Aa, please don't, I'm so scared for y'all right now and I'm just a random Masto follower. If y'all need someone to talk to (Matrix/jitsi/whatever) or have some other idea how I might help please let me know.
Virtual hugs, for what they are worth.
coronavirus ---, mh ---, sui ideation
@timorl .hg … <:3 …
we /are/ on Matrix, @ moonbolt.k :minuette.net