I am not happy with the turn out of events.

First the plan that shifted my focus temporarily from last year and failed to meet the plan's timeline milestone this year frustrated me because it messed up things when I shifted to that plan and then shifted back to the original plan.

Second I am not happy with my schooling being late in the second semester and because it proved not easy to cope up specially with the lack of a syllabus and only relying with my classmates notes. In addition the lectures slides were somehow vague and because the lessons were separated in terms of integration techniques but then when I came back to prelim sections the slides were discussing direct integration without using u-sub techniques but via trigo properties then I saw in my classmates notes they were actually using u-sub techniques from the start. It gave an additional headache with me getting stuck on some problems for a long time only to realize they still solved it with u-sub method. Another thing is that in calculus it was agreed upon that the exam that was given to me already covers midterms and prelims and with the tight schedule it's going putting me in the loosing end if things were flipped like what happened when my instructor last week decided that I take another exam for prelims which was not the first agreement and because of it I decided to review again delaying the exam on EDA because of this.

Third, add the fact that the performance expectations in Manila has been squeezed as part of the objective to raise the technical competencies for the Manila team and this entailed lots of deliverables and lots of stress at work while trying to cope up with the schooling. And then other departments are having attitude for tech issues that is from their side and wanting our side of the team to do the solving. Managers are becoming rude due to the stress.

Back at the university, as another factor, while I am at the mercy of racing for the already finished prelims and exams, I heard older professors there trash talking the university I came from and said that students from my previous university they are fluncking at the current university. I know such talk is more about political taking the good image in terms of competition but that is low and is giving me the impression that I will fail too not because of my lack of capabilities but because events are not in favor of me.

Fifth factor now is that I remember that all subjects or courses from the previous university has a module and that means the course syllabus being taught to students are all uniform, solves the same problems, have the same examples, discusses the same topics and is a big help for working students like me who from time to time might not be able to attend lectures in real time.

I think I will let the second semester finish then I will come back to the previous university from last year. I will be faced with the same problems again there where students will rely on me during group activities but that is fine as long as it will serve me in my learning journey and is in favor of my situation as a working student.

Lessons learned, do not trade stability for risk. Meaning stability must be maintained and if risk is wanted for growth then it can be given space in the plans but not to let it overtake or replace stable plans.