@delawen That was my point.

#Privilege isn't clear-cut, immutable, nor uni-dimensional. eg: does a white woman hold privilege over a black man, or viceversa? Would that #power balance reverse if one of them became suddenly disabled? If one of them became rich? How does that privilege work (or matter) if they live in opposite sides of the globe, speak mutually unintelligible languages, and work in different sectors?

Also, can't someone with _less_ privilege than you act in ways that hurt you, attack you unjustly, or simply advance their interests against yours? If so, why shouldn't they “shut up and listen” when you complain, and “work on changing themselves”, too?

One can (one _should_) “rationally understand” ideas that are not “their experience” — that's the point of trying to be rational and objective over being emotional and subjective.

That's why I think my “third step” subsumes and expands on yours.

Sometimes reflection will lead you to conclude that you hold some kind of privilege, and to improve your behaviour accordingly. Other times the claims made may prove to be dishonest or exaggerated, or fail to take relevant factors into account. Sometimes privilege will have nothing to do with the dispute.