很有用的谈话小技巧,可以帮助女性在各种冒犯话题中夺回控制权。

演讲人是Kasia Urbaniak,多年研究道教并从事调教师职业。

youtu.be/9W1_vUiMC6E

@shitai

Problem: Someone asks you an inappropriate question that gets you into the freeze.
Solution:
Ask questions back.
better: question their question
better: question their right to ask the question

Example:
Question: "Why didn't you have children?"
Bad answer: talking about life choice and fertility.
Simple answer: "Why do you ask?"
"Do you realize how you sound right now"

advanced topic: conversation control, attention control, education differences between boys and girls

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@Acer @shitai
> question their rights to ask the question

Reminds me of this video
https://youtu(dot)be/DJiGuFCzaFo

As funny as it is. I think it should be better left of with "why do you ask?" Instead.
It's less offensive and will left the person who ask you stunned and think if he's being condescending.

@deesapoetra @Acer

I’m not sure if you really understand the point of the video. The video is about shifting the attention by responding with questions so that women don’t feel the pressure and necessity to submit to offensive questions.

Obviously, you can always choose to respond with kindness. But I don’t think it’s a better way, as these questions are already very offensive. Asking the offended to bear the burden of responding with a less offensive answer is unfair.

I think it’s better to start educate men on what not to ask, instead asking women to “kill them with kindness”.

@shitai
Yes it's just a reference for something he mention in his video.

> i'm not sure if you really did pay attention to the video at all.

Yeah coming from someone who desnt't even remember this part fron the video.

> The video author mention in the video that he once had and argument with someone during lunch just because of he didn't want to eat meat. Basically the person he had argument with are mad during that day because the video author attitude would remind him of his roomate that would insult him for eating meat. Instead of saying "i'm sorry why did you ask?" to reduce the tension, he instead says something that would insult the person who ask him the question. This was mentioned in in the beginning and the end of the video.

Rewatch it and acknowledge your mistakes then apologize before you make fun of yourself.

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