我终于找到了!
然而我还是不知道这一篇的名字
希望有人能告诉我
“I loved a girl who loved me back, but I had to leave her.
Why?
I don’t know. It was as if she was surrounded by a circle of armed men, their spears thrusting outward. Each time I went near her, I plunged into the spears which wounded me, and I felt forced to back off. I have suffered much.
Was this the girl’s fault?
I do not think so, or rather, I am convinced it wasn’t. The analogy I have just made is not entirely accurate, for I was also surrounded by armed men, with their poised spears aiming inward, that is, against my body. Whenever I tried to approach her, I was first wounded by my own men’s spears and I could not go on beyond that point. Perhaps I never reached the girl’s armed men, and if I did, I approached them already bleeding from my men’s wounds, and almost unconscious from pain.
Did the girl end up all alone?
No. Someone else walked up to her, lightly and never finding any obstacles. Tired of my own efforts, I watched him with indifference, as if I was the air rushing between their faces as they approached for their first kiss.”
– Franz Kafka
也是blog写作的理由
距离上次希奇!发布 #运营白皮书 已经过去半年啦,是时候根据约定更新一下了:
希奇!运营技术情况:
* 服务器基本配置:Dell 独立服务器,32 cores 128GB memory.
* 服务器托管:LA商业机房,1Gbps网络
* 长毛象数据存储:ZFS RaidZ2+异地备份
* 长毛象媒体存储:目前和数据存储一致,但是未来会做一个新的长毛象专用s3服务也能惠及别的实例:https://c7.io/@snullp/109979065663923473
希奇!运营资金情况:
* 服务器托管、带宽:$183/m
* 服务器硬件更新:$100/yr
* 域名费用:$40/yr
* CDN + DDoS 防火墙(cloudflare):$0 for now
@snullp 承诺每月支付站点运营费用。此外也欢迎捐款支持本站https://liberapay.com/sNullp/。
希奇!运营承诺:
希奇!承诺运营至一年后,亦即2024年9月。半年后再次发布的白皮书会更新本承诺。
下一次的白皮书明年3月见哟!
今天跟队友聊天聊到了人生计划。我发现其实卡到我的不是客观条件而是自己内心的迟疑。我并不是想不到人生最值得的活法,但我一直觉得我的心理状态和认知水平没有准备好。
但我今天发现,其实我的担心是因为我担心自己活太久:现在去做自由的生活,万一到了中老年过不下去又无法回到按部就班的社会该怎么办?这样的无力感。
然而我突然想通了,其实就按照自己会活到七十岁来算就好了…那之后就算活着恐怕也要住养老院不能想干嘛干嘛。
顺推:现在这样的工作再干5-6年,尽量去享受看书、琢磨事情、观察周围、在这些institution的洪流里独善其身。然后拜拜同事拜拜xx界,找到适合自己的宝地去过大地上的日子。至少过12年的自然生活,前五年学习跟自然相处跟自己相处,后面想吃啥就种啥、尽量少干事、心灵纯净。这些结束之后,到那时我就五十五岁了。距离我假设的人生自然结束还有十五年。
如果五十五岁时因为某种原因我无法再过自然生活了,且我现在无法预料那时会是怎样的状况,我能接受最差的情形吗?我能不能过好五十五到七十岁之间的这最后的十五年呢?
想到这里,我心里的答案是,可以的。
如果我能够靠土地过着自给自足的生活过上十年,到时候就算是没钱了没身体了,我也能活下来,甚至活得好好的。我会建构一个新的关系体系,我会懂得自然的力量。而自然的力量是伟大的。
20-40岁我都在不停尝试新的经历,be water。那40-60岁我要be natural,自然而然。
人生会跟现在大不一样,自由是一种站不稳的状态,但这正是我想要的。想到了以上这些,我觉得稍微多了一点好好过好当下的动力。
最近读档案学文献的时候很受启发的一个点是:虽然有些档案学专有名词是行业的规范用语,听起来也很高大上(可以装X),但是其实是很不用户友好的。比如很多人看到provenance和finding aid可能都会一头雾水,但如果你说creator和record description,听起来就会更易懂。归根结底还是要让档案变得更accessible #libraryschoollife