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People need to ubderstand you can set any boundaries you want, and people should be expected to respect those boundaries. But people should also know its equally acceptable for someone to want nothing to do with you if they dont like the restrictions those boundaries place.
@freemo Agreed. Boundaries, both physical and social, are inherently exclusionary.
And anyone who chooses to remain outside of them also remain outside of their control.
@louis boubdaries work oth ways too. Aomeone may not want to hear a subject, and i may not want ro be censored. If we are incompatible tbe o ly respectful result is tonwalk away and not be offended
@freemo Right, in that case your boundaries do not overlap, like a venn diagram of two separate circles.
Agreed.
Juat had this problem woth an asian lady, new friend. I told a joke that was maybe pg 13 at best. The most offensive part was ghe mere me tion of tbe existance of porn. She was deeply offended. I apologized for violating bsr boubdaries and aaid my jokes are quire a bit more crass than that, best we dont be friends ljt of respect for your boubdaries. She was even more offended j would exclude a friendhip over that.
She cant have it both ways. Im happy to respect her boubdaries, by keeping her away from my friend circle and the jokes contained therein
@freemo Riiight... but I can also see why someone might think that severing an entire relationship over such a minor difference of opinion might be overreacting. You could just CW lewd jokes instead 🤷♂️
We are also talking real world friendship not online.
@louis right, when ifs o e or one, or im a guest in their home id bappily respext wbatever values i can ethically respect. But ypu cant expect me and my frienda to all avoid difty jokes just cause uour at the party.
@freemo Ah, yeah, someone trying to impose their values on you, especially in group social situations where they're not the host, is a huge red flag.