Amikke @Amikke@qoto.org

"why would you pirate movies? don't you know those sites can install a virus that spies on you?"

funny how troubleshooting any windows 10 problem involves spawning the modern UI pc settings window, clicking through to a legacy settings menu, then closing the useless modern one so it's not in your way

I turn on my PC.

The local wildlife are immediately sterilised by the excessive output from my four exposed nuclear reactors running at a critically risky heat output.

The sound of 10,000 cooling fans deafens the city’s morning traffic as my warehouse of 500 parallel-chained AMD Razer Threadrippers bursts into life, forming the equivalent processing power of 2015 in one room.

Nearby, my cluster of Nvidia 5090 Test Cards begins to warp the local time continuum as they calculate answers man was never meant to know.

Very gently, I open Microsoft Teams.

Instantly, the already deafening noise of fans increases to a murderous wail as they try to keep my equipment at operating temperatures. A nuclear reactors’ fusion catches up with its cooling and explodes destroying the lives of millions. The floor begins to melt away as my processors over clocked ten-fold reach critical mass and descend directly into hell. My Nvidia cluster collapses into a singularity and begins to devour the planet.

Quickly now, I open a text chat, it’s a bit laggy.

The sheer struggle of loading some text destroys the remaining systems. Me and my equipment are deleted from reality by an unknown overseer.

Humanity is not ready for instant messaging

Hello !

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"A top quality idea"

submitted by BridgetteCramer