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mastodon is like Sesame street where a muppet announces the word of the day and the whole town loses their shit over it

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A CRISPR baby but the only change is that there is an SQL injection attack coded in to the genome so that if it is ever sequenced, it drops all the tables in the company database

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really gross, extremely lewd 

me and the boys stood naked in a circle passing the fleshlight around like a joint

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it is 1996, i am a sweaty car salesman in a sports blazer. i am smoking a cigarette inside, my wife has left and took the kids with her, i am begging you to buy one of of my many pontiac trans ams that my boss was fooled into buying by my yugoslavian neighbor Rodavan who got out of the hague stuff on account of some very fortunate eastern european legal loopholes

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if you don't have your ID with you we will also accept ego or superego

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Lewd, Silly 

A love hotel called "The Fuckingham Palace" 🏩😛

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School mottos are always the most@absolute fuckboy shit. “Service. Honor. Excellence.” “Loyalty. Taking Your Vitamins. Another Boring Thing.”

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we live in a society
we laugh in a society
we love in a society

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damn, just found out about the extraction of surplus value, that shit sucks

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Just woke up and my #ballsack has inflated to thrice its original size, hoping it's just a phase

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killer cops 

dallas PD wants us to believe the witness that just died had 12 fucking pounds of weed in his apartment? was my guy swimming around in a scrooge mcduck weed vault in his apartment? like are you fucking kidding me my dudes. they definitely murdered him

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What's this you've said to me, my good friend? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in conflict resolution, and I've been involved in numerous friendly discussions, and I have over 300 confirmed friends. I am trained in polite discussions and I'm the top mediator in the entire neighborhood. You are worth more to me than just another target. I hope we will come to have a friendship never before seen on this Earth.

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Medieval Chad/Virgin shitpost 

why does the Chad Noble get to live in the inner castle while us serfs are stuck out here toiling in the fields? why does Lady Veronica always go for the asshole knights who will just treat them badly? us serfs have developed superior dexterity from working with our hands all day, which means better stamina and performance in bed. we really do live in a freaking monarchy, peasants rise up

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If fathers are covered in skin, are forefathers covered in foreskin?

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Why do people always think glasses make you look smart? You have to fail an exam to get them.

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If an American learns another's social security number they can legally kill that person and take their assets and/or identity, yes? I have no idea what a social security number is but this is what I've gathered through cultural osmosis

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Opsec 101 

Operational Security is an important factor of activism if you don't want to get arrested, especially for people planning events. Keeping opsec tight means your less likely to get you or your comrades arrested, which is generally seen as a good thing.

Disclaimer: Myself and @grufwub are NOT experts. We are computer nerds who work in infosec. Remember these guidelines are just that, guidelines. They are not a magical shield against cops. We offer no promise or disclaimer. With that in mind, these tips have kept many people safe, and are tried and tested methods.

- Biometric authentication: Turn off biometric authentication on your phone / devices (fingerprint, facial recognition etc). you can (arguably) be made to unlock your phone / devices with biometric auth, but they're not allowed to make you give up your password

- Phone's: If you don't have a password set on your phone, DO SO. And if it supports encryption, ENABLE IT. Android versions 7+ should have it enabled by default, and any iOS devices from 6 and newer should have it enabled. If your phone is unlocked, it is unencrypted. 

- Updates: Keep your phone and all devices up to date. If it's showing a 'software update' notification, then let it perform the software update. These patch security holes that law enforcement can easily use to extract data from locked / encrypted devices. Even devices that seem irrelevant such as laptops or desktops must be patched. Side channel attacks, an attack that doesn't directly target the device with the information, do occur.

- Use Signal to communicate: Signal messages are end to end encrypted meaning even if police ask Signal to decrypt your messages they can't. Verify your trust numbers (Proof that the person who you're talking to is who they say they are). Set the disappearing message timer if your information is sensitive, and don't turn it off.

- Phone Calls: Phone calls should be avoided as they leave metadata. Law enforcement can see who called who and for how long. If you absolutely need to talk over the phone, DON'T use regular phone calls. Use Signal voice calls.

- Messaging: DON'T use regular texts at all (though iMessages are okay) for any kind of planning, these are easily intercepted. If the information is sensitive -- USE SIGNAL.

- Messaging Cont: Don't blindly trust WhatsApp. They claim end-to-end encryption, but they are owned by Facebook and don't publish the code so this isn't totally trusted, and they still give Facebook a lot of metadata. Other messaging solutions (Discord, Twitter, FB Messenger etc) are the same or FAR WORSE, Just use Signal or another trusted, encrypted messaging service.

- Turn off your phone: Phone's connect to cell towers constantly to triangulate positioning. Even regular phones can do this meaning your location can be requested by law enforcement at any time. Remember to turn off your phone before you head into any event that could be incriminating if your attendance is known to law enforcement.

- Social Media: Avoid posting anything publically on any social media that relates to any actions. No matter how secure you think it is. Social media is inherently public and police are known to watch twitter and Facebook for signs of planning. Keep it offline or in secure groups.

- Monitor your groups: Even the best encryption is useless if someone in the group is compromised. Compartmentalise information, only people who need to know need to know. This is good practice as if someone gets arrested the entire operation doesn't collapse. Many hacker groups got taken down by people being blackmailed by feds. Trust no one, and only share information when you need too.

- Offline Meetings: If something's important, it can be mentioned IRL rather than online. The internet has an inherent paper trail, leading to any actions.

- Paper trails: Any service that logs data, even passively about your usage, is not your friend. That data can be used against you as evidence. All logs should be encrypted or non-existent. If you don't know, assume the worst about logging.

- Think twice before you do anything: These guidelines are the first step towards good opsec. Analyse your actions and those of your comrades. Think every action through at least twice for potential data leaks. Remember to keep up your opsec at all times. Good habits are important to maintaining your security

With all this in mind. You can still get arrested. These links and images below will help with UK focused advice on what to do.

greenandblackcross.org/guides/

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