EvilK @EvilK@qoto.org

Me in 2013: It’s annoying that everytime I touch the screen it does something.

Me in 2023: it’s annoying if I touch a screen and it does nothing.

I don’t want to “maximise my productivity”, I want to step through a wardrobe and have tea and buttered potatoes with a family of talking beavers.

I only use incognito mode for asking the questions that are best left a mystery.

A Japanese man rides his bike carrying Soba noodles on his shoulder in Tokyo, 1935. Colourised by u/vorst17735
#MadeMeSmile

Breathe! 🪵🐿️

That time - when you're in the zone - and...

Deep in Florida, an ‘ecological disaster’ has been reversed—and wildlife is thriving.

20 years and $1 billion dollars later much of Florida’s Kissimmee River has been restored to its natural state. 40 square miles of wetlands have been reestablished and rehydrated. A milestone worth celebrating.

#SomeGoodNews

https://www.nationalgeographic.com/environment/article/kissimmee-biggest-river-restoration-ever-completed?utm_source=reddit.com

My poor husband just had to tell me that he would very very much prefer it if I didn’t try to find out if having a whole bunch of those squeeze chickens in different sizes would mean that I could have an actual Rubber Chicken Harmonica

A glory hole but to boop dog noses.

ME: Am I healthy enough for sex
DOCTOR: How did you get into my apartment

If you’re waiting on a service person to show up to your home and you’re getting impatient, either get naked or sit down to have a poop and they’ll be sure to arrive immediately!

If you really can make $10,000 a month working from home, why would anyone take the harder job of nailing those signs to trees?

Take a lil break from the news.

This is what a sunset from space looks like.

Astronaut Alexander Gerst took this photo when he was the Commander of the International Space Station
#Interesting #Space #Perspective

If you can, strive to lead a life filled with joy and wonder, curiosity and hope, and talkative badgers playing dice in sunny meadows behind the ivy covered castle.

@freemo @pj @mike805 @lmrocha when I attended the course recommended for concealed carry (not required - constitutional carry) they pointed out in very clear terms the job of the police is not primarily to defend you. It is to execute the law which generally means arresting people suspected of a crime. That means the crime already happened by the time the cops show up.

“We are here on Earth to fart around, and don’t let anybody tell you any different.”

This comes from an interview with Kurt Vonnegut. I’ve loved it for 20 years and you might too.

“I work at home, and if I wanted to, I could have a computer right by my bed, and I’d never have to leave it. But I use a typewriter, and afterward I mark up the pages with a pencil. Then I call up this woman named Carol out in Woodstock and say, “Are you still doing typing?” Sure she is, and her husband is trying to track bluebirds out there and not having much luck, and so we chitchat back and forth, and I say, “Okay, I’ll send you the pages.”

Then I go down the steps and my wife calls, “Where are you going?” “Well,” I say, “I’m going to buy an envelope.” And she says, “You’re not a poor man. Why don’t you buy a thousand envelopes? They’ll deliver them, and you can put them in the closet.” And I say, “Hush.”

So I go to this newsstand across the street where they sell magazines and lottery tickets and stationery. I have to get in line because there are people buying candy and all that sort of thing, and I talk to them. The woman behind the counter has a jewel between her eyes, and when it’s my turn, I ask her if there have been any big winners lately.

I get my envelope and seal it up and go to the postal convenience center down the block at the corner of Forty-seventh Street and Second Avenue, where I’m secretly in love with the woman behind the counter. I keep absolutely poker-faced; I never let her know how I feel about her. One time I had my pocket picked in there and got to meet a cop and tell him about it.

Anyway, I address the envelope to Carol in Woodstock. I stamp the envelope and mail it in a mailbox in front of the post office, and I go home.

And I’ve had a hell of a good time. I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don’t let anybody tell you any different.”

https://richardswsmith.wordpress.com/2017/11/18/we-are-here-on-earth-to-fart-around-and-dont-let-anybody-tell-you-any-different/