ta mère @Gilgamesh@qoto.org

@vinnyboi in this same boat. bout to take my quetiapine aka baby heroine and hope I knock tf out

@naga It's my pleasure!

@naga it also helps me to put into perspective my present and past experiences especially as a child.

well we have quite a bit in common, the psych, autism, polyamory, also a nerd in the traditional and technological sense and dare I say, bdsm.

@naga if you don't get a diagnosis as a kids its very hard to get it as an adult. which is my case.

I have a degree in psychology, so my psychiatrist straight up says to me she doesn't think I'm autistic but because I know the criteria for many abnormal psychopathology I'm seeing those autistic traits in myself and basically blowing it out of proportion.

But for example I also know the criteria for different personality disorders and I'm not going around convinced I'm a malignant narcissist or catatonic schizophrenia.

So I've just had to come into my own acceptance.

@tek that fucking bitch.

@naga i have so many instances where I expressed how a sight or sound or texture bothered me to the point it was psychically painful and people around me just brushed it off like it was nothing.

I know im autistic but because people are stuck with these unhelpful categories of high and low functioning autistics, people think I can't be because I seem "normal". ye, seem normal but have melted down on the floor crying for 4hrs because of a visual trigger

@naga it still bothers me so my nails get really long before a cut. i feel naked and like its major readjustment

@Nikolai_Kingsley a psyop to get you in and out quick

@NekoSock@niu.moe bah oui

@telecrush@deadinsi.de yeah, people use it in their own unique ways. I’m leaning more toward the hard boundaries. I just sometimes forget to put a cw if I’m ranting or whatnot. Still learning the lay of the land.

It’s the #actuallyautistic community on masto that made me realise I don’t need a dx. I know my mind and body better than anyone else. I know how I suffer with sensory overloads and an entire host of other things.

Even my psychiatrist told me it’s just my anxiety but since being on here I have an even better idea of how much medical gatekeeping goes on for adults with autism. I want to be seen and accepted. Thank you to all of you that have unknowingly helped me achieve that.

Even typing this now is draining, but there’s so much I want to share. I just don’t have the spoons. It’s to the point where I give up and withdraw most of my days.

#actuallyautistic

My voice is extremely soft, a lot of the time words come out in whispers. All I knew was that I didn’t have the energy to assert my voice any louder so I could be heard properly. Speaking saps my energy unless it’s something I’m super interested in.

#actuallyautistic

When I meltdown because of a sound, sight or texture of clothes on my skin, those that witness it chalk it up to anxiety. It’s invalidating. I don’t feel seen or heard.

#actuallyautistic