Pivo @Pivo@qoto.org

THANOS: did you bring me the infinity stones

ME: [holding the planeteers rings] i fucked up boss. i fucked up bad

Just arrived from the social media equivalent of the Titanic.

me: I want a wet one. give me the wettest one you have.

Prof. Oak: just say water type

shame elon musk didn’t manage student loan debt given how quickly he made billions disappear

NORMAL PERSON: stop. That looks dangerous

SCIENTIST: I just wanna see what happens

A reminder that we asked young people to turn out and they did. Latino voters leaned into Democrats. Black men voted overwhelmingly for Stacey. Abortion was top of mind for women. Black women continued to show up strong. The Party should not compromise on the priorities of those voters. They hold the future.

The twitter outages graph looks remarkably similar to the mastodon new user graph.... just saying ;)

Medusa: *takes a drag on a cigarette* You know, he was just Dwayne Johnson until he met me

[Airport terminal]
*waits at baggage claim area*
*an entire roast pig emerges on the carousel*
*I check the tag to make sure it's mine*

Sometimes, I want to throw my phone in the river, but there is no river here so I just keep playing on my phone. The river will come.

*inventing the frisbee*
FUCK THIS PLATE!

what I summon in the privacy of my own room is my business, but it's loose now and its become all of our problem

IF EVERYONE JUMPED OFF A BRIDGE WOULD YOU STEAL THEIR CARS?

A woman at work told me I had great energy which is entirely plausible as I just ate a lithium battery.

That one Black Mirror episode.

science defines a baby as "a small smooth poopy man, no taller than a lamp"