@gpowerf My wife is away in another country because my hopefully-soon-to-be-ex-son-in-law doesn't care much for "adulting." My step-daughter is better able to get what she needs to do to settle out with "son-in-law" as my wife minds the grandkids and provides a steady, stable influence.
I'm very proud of my wife and her willingness to do this despite the stress of being separated from me and being without our housecat Freddy and our dog Tilly.
Meanwhile, I'm picking up the slack of feeding and medicating Freddy (he is old, frail, and his health is in decline) making sure Tilly knows her pack isn't abandoning her. Food prep, house-cleaning, appointment minding, grocery shopping and tons of details she carried normally have fallen to me. I do it, I'm wearing my big-boy pants, but it's something she normally did effectively in her retirement while I went to work. We *shared* in this effort. We currently can't until she returns. This work is otherwise known as "adulting."
The alternative to this is... well, what my son-in-law why the divorce. He's living the "alternative."
These are not "modern" concerns. This is *life*. While the particulars differ, in the big picture this is what functional adults have done over the eons. Adults *NOT* doing these things is how non-functional adults pretend functionality have been spreading heartbreak and misery over eons.
Does this clarify the situation and the context of "adulting?"