@freemo The (short term) solution lies in how nice a place qoto is. Sure, it is important that you keep an eye on this generally, but when where is a discussion, you will not be alone. Because there are reasonable and nice people here.
So you do not need to dwell on it and play it on repeat in your head. Check what is happening sometimes, sure. But rely on the rest of us to deal with this together. You do not need to be always-on.