⊥ᵒᵚ Cᵸᵎᶺᵋᶫ∸ᵒᵘ ☑️ @falken@qoto.org

okay so this is rich: to get around the lack of a safe bytecode vm in-kernel on windows, cloudstrike made an *un*safe bytecode vm, which choked on a null pointer and brought down the world yesterday

Let's relive this moment from 55 years ago when, on July 20, 1969 at 20:17 UTC, NASA astronauts Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin touched down on the moon and made history.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xc1SzgGhMKc
1/n

I won't be using passkeys any time soon. https://me.micahrl.com/blog/concerns-about-passkeys/

Working through content creation of the next part of "Amiga as a Workstation in 1986" videos.

We write a simple program to get used to the #CommodoreAmiga Intuition and Graphics libraries.

I will record the video soon. #retrocomputing

"Linux would have prevented this!" literally true because my former colleague KP Singh wrote a kernel security module that lets EDR implementations load ebpf into the kernel to monitor and act on security hooks and Crowdstrike now uses that rather than requiring its own kernel module that would otherwise absolutely have allowed this to happen, so everyone please say thank you to him

Linux users panicking because there's not enough smug to go round

Pouring another bucket of smug over my laptop, shouting down the bucket chain FASTER LADS, IT'S STILL WORKING, tooting as the fires rage around us

Did you turn it off and on again.

Yeah, no shit.

Aye, but how many times did you do it?

Fourteen! Fourteen fucking times!

Well there’s your problem. Ya gotta do it fifteen you see. Fifteen. Fourteen won’t cut it.

Fuck off. *reboots*

"Cyber-security firm Crowdstrike has admitted that the problem was caused
by an update to its antivirus software, which is designed to protect
Microsoft Windows devices from malicious attacks."

Any sufficiently bad update is indistinguishable from a malicious attack

Microsoft/CrowdStrike issue workaround -

- Boot Windows into Safe Mode or the Windows Recovery Environment
- Navigate to the C:\Windows\System32\drivers\CrowdStrike directory
- Locate the file(s) matching “C-00000291*.sys”, and delete it.
- Boot the host normally.
🛠️
https://theconversation.com/massive-global-it-outage-hits-banks-airports-supermarkets-and-a-single-software-update-is-likely-to-blame-235107
#Outage #Microsoft
3/n

CrowdStrike on Windows (BSOD) workaround steps:

- Boot Windows into Safe Mode or the Windows Recovery Environment
- Navigate to the C:\Windows\System32\drivers\CrowdStrike directory
- Locate the file matching “C-00000291*.sys”, and delete it.
- Boot the host normally.

#crowdstrike #windows

https://www.reddit.com/r/crowdstrike/comments/1e6vmkf/bsod_error_in_latest_crowdstrike_update/

Microsoft: (writes an OS that finally doesn't just shit itself on every other boot)
Crowdstrike: Hi