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If i had a daughter I'd be that dad buying her her own tools, soldering kits, and chemistry lab.Never understood why a dad would buy a daughter a doll, that seems like such a waste.

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@freemo Would you buy here the toys she wants or the ones you want?

@rimugu depends on the toy. But most likely the ones she wants. However if I never gave her a doll in the years of her growing up before she could vocalize any desire of what she wants it is unlikely that she would even want a doll. You tend to want the things you are exposed to from an early age, if I never bought my daughter a doll as an infant she wouldnt even know what a doll was to ask for one as a child.

@freemo I guess it depends on weather one is looking to guide the child or to restrict/impose on the child?

@rimugu Im not sure its really like that. Before a child vocalizes they will usually latch on to whatever random shit you expose them too. If you shower them with dolls they form a connection with dolls, if you shower them with other toys that is what they become attached to.

If a child was never showered with dolls early in life then there is no need to restrict or impose on the child, they simply wont have any interest in dolls as they didnt have an early attachment to the concept, they havent even considered dolls before.

Most parents encode the interests of a child when their an infant and simply dont even realize it. By the time they are old enough to talk you assume its their own free will and interests, and to some extent that will develop, but largely in the early years it will just perpetuate whatever you choose to expose them to in infancy.

Literally the only reason little girls want to play with dolls is because adults buy them dolls when their infants and it sticks, thats it. I dont think any child who grew up never knowing of dolls would start wanting dolls on their own once their able to talk, maybe a few, but most people i dont think would see any interest or appeal in a doll unless they already had some history with it as a child such as cuddling with one as they go to bed.

@freemo I don't give dolls that much importance. I think educations is way more important.

@freemo @rimugu Everyone entertains their children with phone apps nowadays.

@likho

Depends on the nature of the app and how often we are talking about that in and of itself doesnt really bother me much.

@rimugu

Kids with smart cellphones is a bigger concern in my mind than stuffed animals or dolls ever was @likho @freemo

@rimugu

I never claimed a kid playing with a doll was a concern either, only that kids have no natural compulsion towards obsessive attachment to dolls and then when it is observed it is usually taught by the adult.

The doll itself however does not represent a threat or unhealthy behavior, nor do apps on phones. but it is a symptom of a problem when you see a child obsessively attached to a doll, but it isnt the dolls fault, the parent introduced that issue in most cases.

@likho

@freemo Speech is usually thought by an adult. Using the potty is also thought by an adult. When I see a child obsessively attached to anything is not a behavior introduced y an adult, its usually a sign of psychological trauma induced usually by an adult, not necessary the one go gave or didn't gave a doll, if anything the doll is a help to deal with the previously induced mental trauma.
@likho

@rimugu

It can certainly play out that way sometimes, but many children i see obsessively attached to a doll never had any significant trauma to name. But yea it can develop in many ways.

But even then if a parent is teaching their child to deal with trauma by becoming dependent on a doll, then the parent didn't do a very good job at helping their child deal with the trauma.In fact it can be so bad even when there is no significant trauma of any kind the parent may use the doll to try to comfort the child and develop the obsession on the doll regardless.

Its no different than parents who use suckers to sooth their child. Sure its used as a way in the parents mind to help the child get through trauma. But in the end it is a unhealthy coping mechanism that causes real harm when the parent should have been teaching their child proper coping mechanisms.

@likho

@freemo I have never seen anyone teaching a kid to deal with trauma with a doll, I have seen some get attachment to dolls (or other stuff) themselves. I have never seen any parent teach their kids to become obsessively attached to dolls, to cellphones yes, to dolls never. @likho

@rimugu

You often wont see the things you dont want to see or that your presumptions prevent.

I have no doubt you have seen crying freaking out children whom a parent tried to comfort by guying a doll or encouraging them to take their doll for comfort. That is a parent teaching their kid to obsessively become dependent on their dolls.

Cellphones.. i dont know, when haveyou seen a parent tell a small child who is freaking out to play with their cell phone for comfort? That sounds weird and not something I can say sounds like the norm.

@likho

@freemo I have never seen a crying freaking children given a doll, I have seen a crying freaking children given a cellphone. Often, some people don't see things they don't want to see or are prevented by their presumptions.
Again, a doll is a drop in the bucket, compared to cellphones, in my small experience. And both are dwarfed by good or bad education.
someonte@likho@sendero.social

@rimugu I cant say your expiernce in anyway matches what I see.. Not once in my life have I seen a parent give a cell phone to a child drealing with trauma and drenched in tears and encouraged to use it as a comfort, not once.

Dolls and comfort blankets, that is the norm.

@freemo I cannot say your experience in anyway matches what I see.
I don't care even a bit for children with dolls. I care more about adults caring about children with dolls.

@rimugu Then you do have an inherent bias, and at the very least recognize that, that your goal going iin is to counter the thinking of an adult who is critical of children with dolls.

Regardless as I already stated I really dont care if a child plays with a rock or happens to like a doll or anything else. I do care that parents tend to condition their kids to not know how to cope with things and the children become obsessive over objects in an unhealthy way instead.

There is a difference between a child who is obsessively attached to a doll and a child who just sohappens to own a doll and play with it.

@freemo Everyone has inherent bias, if you don't think you do, you just fool yourself.
Off course I wanted to engage an adult. Is the unhealthy obsession of the adult with dolls that worries me.
A kid obsessively attached to a doll is bad (even thou kids rarely attach obsessively unless there is a preexisting mental trauma, and then the doll is second to the mental trauma).
An adult obsessively attached to the idea of kids with dolls, is something to worry about.
I worry about you!

@rimugu

When did I say I dont have bias? Now your just making up things I never said.

Nice try at trolling to suggest I am obsessively attached to the idea of kids with dolls too.

You have single handedly in one post lost all credibility with that little tantrum. This is where i exit.

@freemo I never said you said " I don't have a bias". Read again, is an personal assertion of mine, I never quoted you. (and the last in quotation is hypothetical to illustrate, you did not say it)

I worry about you, come on, let me help you. I am not a professional, but we can try to find where the doll hurt you. Perhaps you still have in your subconscious that doll you never had and now don't want anybody having it.

@rimugu hahah nice save. Always amazes me how when people make a fool of themselves their response is to just double down and throw a tantrum. Feel free to continue, it amuses me, but like I said im done.

@freemo If you ever want to try heal your scars, am still not a professional, but I am willing to help.
Don't try to take it out on kid's toys. Talk to someone about that.

@rimugu Wow, still having a temper tantrum huh... good luck with that.

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@freemo This is what I did. Baby mama was always pissed that she chose hammers and screwdrivers over Barbie/Bratz.

@freemo I was just thinking the opposite yesterday, that if I had to help parent a boy, I'd buy and encourage him to play with dolls - after listening to a Naked Neuroscience episode that discussed a research finding that playing with dolls activates regions of the brain to do with empathy and perspective taking, thus helping them develop socially.

Link: (around 07:10 on) thenakedscientists.com/podcast

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