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Should a person who has grown up with a phrase or term, not knowing it's bad connotations or origin, be "grandfathered in" and be allowed to say it once the history comes to light?

@levisan yes.

People should be able to say what they want. If you’re talking with someone who doesn’t like the phrase and is personally offended by it, it’s generally better to avoid it out of respect. But that shouldn’t preclude them from speaking freely with others who aren’t as sensitive about it.

@mike While I agree, I think that's missing the point of my question. Partially because I used the word "allowed" and in retrospect, that was the wrong word to use.

I didn't mean for it to be about permission, but about whether or not someone using language around people who'd be offended by it should get a free pass, specifically because they learned it in a time+place where it wasn't offensive

@levisan anyone should be allowed to say anything they like, owing no justification for their choice of words to anyone if they're brave enough to manage any potential flack.

Also, beware folk etymologies that serve ideological purposes.

@jezza It really seems like so many people aren't willing to manage the flack!

@levisan i find a distinct deficit of concern and sympathy for such people in myself, wishing them only flack until they grow a spine and thicker skin.

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