Daniel Dvorkin @medigoth@qoto.org

"Fucking mirrors, how do they work?"

"No one knows lol"

"Must be a miracle. [solemn nod]"

"Similar to magnets, I think."

"Well that doesn't help!"

"Sorry that’s all I got."

"Fair enough. I guess it's time to Do My Own Research™."

Naaah, not really. You were horny and did something stupid. We've all been there.

"What do you *want*?"

"I want #antivaxers to live just long enough to learn what actual research is. And when they realize what idiots they've been, I will wave at them ... like this. Can you and your associates arrange that for me, Mr. Morden?"

Like, whatEVER.

I think he also coined "Where are they now?"

I laughed. But more and more people believe this dangerous nonsense. Our ability to prevent and treat #disease is under full-scale attack, and millions—tens or hundreds of millions—will die because of it.

Nobody deserves to die of an easily preventable disease. If anyone did, though, the people pushing this insanity would be at the top of the list.

Checklist time!

Good food: #France ✅ #OlympusMons ❌
Good beer: France ❌ Olympus Mons ❌
The Louvre: France ✅ (kind of) Olympus Mons ❌
High peaks: France ✅ Olympus Mons ✅
Highest peak in Solar System: France ❌ Olympus Mons ✅
Cool fossils: France ✅ Olympus Mons ❌ (probably)

Hard decision, really.

How about that.

I think my direct deposit paperwork got screwed up.

#seemslegit

[climbs out of acid bath] You mean I've been doing this wrong the whole time?

Perhaps I was luckier than I thought when my academic career ended prematurely.

No matter where you go ... there you are.

You know, I'm good with this.

#Bioinformaticists need a set of Greek theater masks.

Nature is so beautiful.

"I was too smart to enlist and they didn't want me as an officer because I raise too much hell."

"Officially, there's no record of my service."

"I'd've punched out the DI the first time he got in my face."

Did I miss any?

"Okay, we're clearly at the beginning of a #movie. Now, is this a wacky #comedy with incompetent #gangsters who take ever-more-ridiculous pratfalls in a futile attempt to recover their loot, or a gritty #thriller where the viewpoint characters are in way over their heads? Help me figure it out ... fast."

This is how "intellectual" #creationists and #antivaxers sound to #biologists, BTW.

Not posted for agreement, if you share from my post please leave my commentary intact, terms and conditions apply, see your local grumpy scientist for details ...

This type of "#humor" is shit.

"#Cardcatalogs were our #Google! #Polaroids were our #Instagram! #Payphones were our #iPhones!"

NO THE FUCK THEY WEREN'T. They were very useful in their time, but the modern versions are *better*. Which is why it's difficult to find a card catalog or a Polaroid camera these days, and a payphone is practically impossible.

Grow the hell up.