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Long luxurious
Laying around; languidly
Loafing until lunch

Handling my dad's estate and we're trying to sell his house. The realtor previously said she is nervous being in empty houses with strangers and just now texted me the contact info of someone she was showing the house to and said "if he kills me give the police his contact info"

Girl... I think you're in the wrong line of work

Darkness giving way
Mounting chariot of heat
You raise me skyward

To call it the "Prisoner's Dilemma" is victim shaming. Really it's a terrible game the warden made up to torture the prisoner and perhaps create the fig leaf of morality for the warden's own self by not actually choosing the punishment

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Identity is just as useful as it is harmful, and the fluidity of identity on the Internet is one of its most attractive features. ↯93AUG

Made a hello fresh dinner and now I'm walking into the grocery store like

On the one hand: mastodon is so weird and hard to understand!

On the other: literally it's the same as everything else except you pick which door you come in thru

nomi boosted

Job seeking tip: if you have to write a cover letter, it's a bad job.

The hiring manager will look at *oodles* of resumes and you think your 3-5 paragraphs of prose are going to help at all? Don't think so, straight to the circular file

Good alternative: work every string in your network to find the hiring manager's contact info. A week after you apply, send them an email saying you did apply, here's your attached resume. Would love to go over details and happy to answer any questions they have. 4 sentences max... but, you've shown that you're resourceful and proactive and the manager saw your resume (it may have been screened by HR)

Makes me wonder if there was any organization, or say government, with huge stores of wealth that... perhaps was concerned about journalists communicating or dissidents organizing on a website they could tank without looking like they were doing it themselves.

mastodon.green/@davidallengree

Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates 

What did you think you were going to get? It's chocolate

Sometimes I wish I had a cool name like "Mack Theknife" or "Bobsb Urgers" or like a throw back to "Wehadababy Itsaboy". All very cool names

By golly that's not a content warning.... It's a joke setup!

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When you violate a rule on this site 

That's a mastadon't

*much chagrined and very sorrowful*
Everyone, I must apologize. It was me.
I am the one that put the bomp in the "bomp bah bomp bah bomp"
I left the ram in the "rama lama ding dong"
*weeping* I added the bop to the "bop shoo bop shoo bop"
And yes, I carelessly put a dip in thep "dip da dip da dip"

I was young and unaware of the hurt it might cause. I cannot ask for your forgiveness, I can only ask for a chance to re-earn your trust.

My wife and I signed up for a week of Hello Fresh delivery meals. The first one came. It was Pork Burgers with a sriracha sauce.

Instructions for cooking the burger was to put a heat up a good amount of olive oil in a pan then toss in the patties

Reader, even my oil burns got oil burns. Hot oil was flying out of the pan like a come to life Jackson Pollock unfolding on my stove. The cats huddled fearfully in a far corner of the house. Burger tasted good tho

nomi boosted

"I'm a modern day Geppetto!" I proclaim, displaying a block of wood that I carved out of boy.

A tree's final leaf
All your birds have flown south
To fall or follow?

Back on the bird site, there was too much going on. I felt like I didn't have anything to add since it had all been said twenty times before I opened my mouth. It's a little quieter here and suddenly my mind has space to think.

There's a Rumi poem that's kinda like that, but I can't find it again. Something about how he feels so loud while writing, but when people are there he is very quiet and says nothing at all

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