Trigger warning. I don't suggest you read it if you want a nice day.
When I was young, there is no smartphones or laptops, or networks. Only several kids play and chat with together happily on the street. They don't give a sh*t about what happened in the world, or who started a war (Iraq War), or what virus we have to deal with (SARS), or who is being discriminated/against (US bombing of the Chinese embassy in Belgrade).
The kids don't care, they don't have to. And I was one of them.
Today with the internet, I spend hours on it and I see people being discriminated, persecuted, starved, and eventually killed or suicide. While I also see good things on the internet, like beautiful pictures of Japan, cute anime girls, great tech news that saves people's lives, and a lot of other good things, which makes me love this world. It is those bad things that contribute to sadness and last way longer than those good things.
Several days ago, I saw a news report that a 4-month-old baby died because the baby didn't get to the hospital in time, because of the stupid covid policy in China. The news included a picture of the baby, it's an average cute human baby. I quickly scroll up as soon as I see it, but I can't wipe it out of my mind because of maybe 2 seconds of eye contact with that photo. And today I saw a trans suicide on her birthday after overdosing and having sex and then possibly regretted it. I don't know what's going on and I don't want to know, for my own mental health (and as you see, it's far from stable).
The internet gives humans a great boost in their ability to observe the world, while it didn't change much for people to influence the world. Of course, I don't want to see people dead/suffer, but what can I do? I'm a Chinese unemployed CS bachelor currently self-isolating because of covid related risks, writing Minecraft mod at home and the game keeps crashing because of my goddamn code. And I can't speak English well even with the help of Google translate and Grammarly.
I hope the future me can have some ability to influence the world, or even better, I can help to fix it. But now, I'm nobody and I have no idea how to fix the broken world/people. I'm going to wait and hope.
> Attendre et espérer
---- warning: stop reading ----
Yesterday, I saw Chinese people on Weibo accusing Iran players didn't sing their national anthem. They said something about the stupid national honor things. And they interpreted a photo of an Iran woman crying as she heard her national anthem, while the truth is the woman saw those players fighting against the persecution.
Those stupid assholes. And they're the majority of China. F*ck. (Technically, they aren't. But there are so many people like them and eventually they formed a mainstream-ish voice.)
@skyblond Hey there, it's not just a China problem, this is a global problem, tragedy sells more advertising than good news. It's pretty sad. I'm American and I've noticed my own people doing pretty much the same.
I've been a programmer for 22 years. I've been a great programmer for maybe 6 years. That's 16 years of fighting with code. But It's paid off with patience.
I have no doubt you will influence the future in good ways, but probably have more failures than successes. Don't let that stop you. Failures are lessons we're taught. I've read a lot of horrible news about China. Unlike most Americans, I've been there. I didn't go for tourism, I just wanted to see the country that has mastered efficiency. I met a lot of great people. I ate a lot of delicious food.
It's not easy being a good person. It takes a lot of patience. Doing the right thing in a world that loves to see people fail hurts the soul.
How do I keep happy? I enjoy learning, I've learned to enjoy my failures. It's hard to ignore the idiots on the internet who enjoy shocking people. Usually they're looking for attention. I don't reward them with any.
I hope you have a great week and great luck. I hope you have a better time on Minecraft. I hope your luck improves. 🙂
@skanman
Thanks! Too much bad news hit me early in the morning, it's pretty hard to swallow.
But now I feel much better. After spending several hours in my code, thinking nothing else, which, I would say not bad.
Talking about programming, I like it and enjoy it. I started learning Java when I was in middle school when I want to write a mod for Minecraft. It's almost 10 years, and now I'm writing my first Minecraft mod😂 But it does make me learn Java, computers, and eventually, computer science.
From my not-very-long coding history, I do have a lot of patience. Sometimes the compiler yells at me, sometimes the program just doesn't work, and sometimes it crashed, but from what I remembered, none of those are unsolvable. I don't have the best coding technics among others, but I do have patience. I do what I can do, I do what I think it's right to do, and I do it right and try my best to be perfect(maybe 80%~95%). And I googled a lot.
Hopefully, I can use that methodology in my life. Life is much harder than programming, but I've already done 20 years. I can do another 20 years, maybe with better practice. As always, I prepare myself while I wait and hope.
And thanks for your reply. Hope you have a nice day :)