Women are calling out unwanted advances on #LinkedIn
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@lupyuen I'm not sure who to be more mad at, the people making the advances, or the people acting like it is a crime for someone to have romantic interest.
Now dont get me wrong there is an inappropriate way this can go down, if your slapping your coworkers ass at work clearly your a piece of shit. But the first account on the link basically just describes what sounds like a very polite guy who felt attracted to a woman and made that known in an attempt to see if the feelings were mutual. As far as I can tell he did nothing wrong beyond that.
The part im not clear on is how assertive or clear she was about her own disinterest. If she really said "sorry not interested" and he continued, then yea, he is in the wrong for making it uncomfortable, but still not a crime, at that point she should have just stopped interacting with him as she clearly didnt enjoy it.
I take issue with people trying to make someone showing romantic interest in someone as criminal when the feeling isnt mutual, at least when done respectfully. I bet if she actually felt attracted back when she met him the story would have sounded very different.
@PawelK I didn't say it's immoral. It's like, there's a presumption that if you're reaching out to me on LinkedIn it's because we share common interests related to our work and you want to develop a professional relationship on that basis. In the story of the Arabic-speaking woman in the article, the man seems to have assumed they were starting a non-professional relationship which is inappropriate *unless* both people indicate unambiguously that's where they want to go. Given the woman's reactions, I don't think that was the case.
@freemo @lupyuen
> I didn't say it's immoral. It's like, there's a presumption that if you're reaching out to me on LinkedIn it's because we share common interests related to our work and you want to develop a professional relationship on that basis.
While one might presume that was the initial intention of this fellow, and anyone you interact with there, it is impossible to predict the future. That may very well have been the initial intent but after meeting or talking one of the parties may have felt potential attraction and persued it. There is nothing wrong with that.
There is nothing about the original post that suggests the man described in the post specifically reached out and used linkedin with the intent to date.
That said, even if he was using it with the intention to find a date, I still dont see a problem; if professional accomplishments are the most important thing for you in a relationship then there is no real issue using linkedin in that way, presuming you are honest and polite in your motives.
> In the story of the Arabic-speaking woman in the article, the man seems to have assumed they were starting a non-professional relationship
I didnt see that at all.. he expressed interest after meeting, she shot him down, he very politely accepted that. At no point do I see him forcing upon her a non-professional relationship, he asked for one, was rejected, and accepted it, little more.
Just because the medium you meet someone isnt specifically devoted to dating in no way makes it inappropriate to develop an interest in someone and express that.
Telling someone you have romantic interest in someone, presuming you do it respectfully, is NEVER inappropriate. How you respond to someone saying "I am not interested, please dont pursue this" however is what matters.
@2ck
People are just people. Its not as wrong and immoral and stupid or criminal as trying to screw out a screw with a hammer imho. It depends.
@freemo @lupyuen