Waitor: What can I get you?

Me: I will take some chicken periods, well cooked with some bovine lactation, some of it in a cup, fresh, and the rest with a bacterial infestation and old enough to solidify, you can put that on the chicken periods. As a side I'll take the head of a pig boiled with spicies until it produces a slurry, then sliced and fried, thanks.

Waitor: we are out of milk

Me: ok then the fresh squeezed liquid from the reproductive organs of a tree, any one will do.

Waitor: We have orange juice

me: that is fine, thank you.

Waitor: Wonderful, thats one omlet with cheese, a side of scrapple, and a glass of orange juice. Coming right up!

@freemo
That waitor could be the brother of the waitress on the following story:

> Jean-Paul Sartre is sitting at a French cafe, revising his draft of Being and Nothingness. He says to the waitress, “I’d like a cup of coffee, please, with no cream.” The waitress replies, “I’m sorry, Monsieur, but we’re out of cream. How about with no milk?”

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@mc Okay, -that- one is actually funny. ;)

@freemo

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