Some men learn that women want to "feel safe" around us and take that as "women want a beefy special forces type" and don't realize they just don't want to feel like we might hurt them someday.
There's so much focus on being "manly" in some "not great" ways but that's missing the point.
What they want are signs that we won't eventually become emotionally/financially/physically abusive.
Signs we're emotionally mature and have good communication skills.
Not Rambo.
@Blenster Me too, took me way to learn that, but I eventually did manage to learn it.
@Blenster nailed it 👍
@Blenster “Don’t worry, honey, I’ll protect you from them.”
“But who’s going to protect me from you?”
i'm usually more concerned with who is going to protect me from myself... :)
@Blenster Wow… I guess I never considered that scenario because any man can be a threat and I assumed *not* being threatening was the only option.
@Blenster The statement “want to feel safe” should lead to the question “safe from what?”
@Blenster yes. Statistically, our biggest threats don’t jump out at us from bushes— that’s a one in a zillion scenario. Our biggest threats come from those we put our trust in, whether by choice or necessity.
Similarly, when women say they long for a guy that can make them laugh— well, very few people are perpetual wells of sparking wit, really. But with people you can truly relax with, and open up to, you can share a warm belly laugh about anything.
@Blenster I knew one day my personality type would be seen as desirable!
@Blenster I just got out of a long-term abusive relationship and found a healthy relationship. I can tell you that emotional safety and respect are the real keys, what makes everything else work. It’s like 🤯.
It's me: I was "some men" and I learned a lot of crap that women aren't impressed with before I figured out what I really needed to have as skills.