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The vile and toxic shit I've been dealing with from outtside of QOTO has put my stress levels to a point I've never expiernced before... It is effectively my health both mental and physical. I am having trouble sleeping, and is very quickly moving from anxiety to depression to a point where it is very dangerous for my health..
My blood pressure is so high right now it would be enough to get me admitted to the emergency room alone.
The really messed up part is if all these lies and toxicity wind up killing me these people are so horrible they would probably dance on my grave....
Frankly im not sure where to go from here. But I do want to say thank you foe the overwhelming support from so many of you, it helps.
@freemo Maybe step away for a bit? We love having you here but if you need a break, you need a break.
@khird anything you can do to take the stress of my shoulders can help... im reaching a break down point with this drama...
Also i am editing our ToC ill get your input soon but im certain youll like it.
@freemo I plan to take care of most of the outstanding reports, and I should have time to catch up on the spammer deletion (interestingly, as Twitter migrants have increased, spammers have decreased in both relative and absolute terms). I don't really know what other loads you're shouldering at the moment but you might have better ideas than I for how to help - if there's a specific way I can, please don't hesitate to let me know.
I look forward to seeing your proposed changes but I think you already have done quite a good job on the instance policies!
@khird I think thats most of what matters... my see my recent posts on my timeline to get a sense of what im dealing witth... im cracking man.
@freemo Take it easy for a few days then my man! You have safe hands in Trinsec (and in me too, I shall endeavour to prove) to leave the site in for a bit while you catch your breath, so to speak.
If you have the opportunity for a road trip, there's the [Bahá'í Gardens](https://ganbahai.org.il/) in the north of the country which are quite peaceful and might be a help to your frame of mind. Please do take care of yourself.
@khird thanks I appreciate it... sadly trinsec is a bit overwhelmed by the drama lately too so im not sure how active he will be for the next day or two.. we will see how he feels tomorrow.
@freemo Ooof, that sucks.
I don’t know if it is helpful, but sometimes when Reddit toxicity has a long flare-up I spend less time evaluating and start handing out bans more aggressively.
It’s mostly a time/sanity preserving me but it actually seems to result in drama dying down not long after I start. (It’s hard to know what’s actually causal, of course.)
Anyway, I still encourage you to set what boundaries you can for your own well-being.
@freemo Spitballing a few ideas…
Maybe work out a rotation with other mods? Work with other to recruit more? Let problems go for a bit? Cap your hours? Stop federating for a while? Put the whole instance on timeout?
Sorry if I should just be listening and not jumping to solutions.
@mkb yea ill talk to them...
@freemo Hey man I'm going to have a lot of bandwidth to deal with routine mod stuff the next few days. If you need me to focus on anything in particular just point me in the right direction. Hope you start feeling a bit more upbeat and feel free to reach out anytime!