Do you repeat and curse when nobody is around?...
What is that called?
The phenomenon of repeating things to yourself and words of another person who has said it to you. Your self-comments are about a situation, often about those people you've had relationship with or encounter in a negative way. It's left as an unresolved matter at least for you, sometimes irreconcilable as an outcome, that stimulates you endlessly to curse or repeat things that may feel to you unfair, logical or unfair. .
A displeasing experience that bothers you can linger for a long time (months / years) including things that are on-going or world's condition in general - things that you want changed or saying and you repeat to yourself often in dissatisfaction about it when alone, but hold back in front of people or fear letting it all out at the same time and being seen as aggressive.
Many think they don't repeat things to themselves but they just don't do it in front of others.
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Irreconcilable situations...
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The brain might not be able to reconcile or accept what has happened and happening, so you repeat the words of someone else in an angry, disappointed. etc way...
This often not your fault at all or entirely or even the person's fault at all or entirely, sometimes the dis-ease is accounted for by environment which is the exact mirror of people not interested in resolving things or talking about it at all or regularly making time for it. The individual reflection is of evolution of society as a whole (evolution of design of previous people, say Capitalism or industrialisation, which show current shape and and state of what is invested into life and cut out, including time for individuals educating themselves (or not). And even with time perhaps the want to educate or talk is so poor we are almost exiled or sentenced into this position from no other choice and everything being in disrepair with nobody paid specifically for caring (ideally caring being put into everything)...
So the whole cutting out by systems end up with less human humans.
I see illness like this coming from communities or humanity itself - not always an individual's fault or bad logic (it's like asking a fish to continue about it's business without putting enough water in the bowl and just barely keeping it alive).
No longer making space, not entertaining the strange or offensive, not even expecting longer talk about deeper issues ever is the main contributing reason as that grows this or that types of disease (mean here as dis-ease or not feeling at ease because systems are not geared for for caring or even factor it in).
I may have this wrong so the post is a work in progress (and needs your help perhaps).
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Summary
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Repeating to one's self from unhappy outcomes in the past or present...
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Inspired by a thread by @pathfinder and people in that here:
https://beige.party/@pathfinder/113302925197251496
#Autism #ActuallyAutistic #NeuroDivergent #mentalhealth #healthcare #mutualaid #MutualAidRequest #disability
"Overexplaining is a trauma response" (just saw this quote)
which is relevant to my question and topic by Heather Cook 🖖[Autistic Coach] hmm_cook@universeodon.com
@punishmenthurts Just looked it up (thanks for the tip) although seems it's more romantically linked which it most certainly isn't mainly...
what do you think?
Hmm I can see relative branches are similar and correct without the love parts (or maybe feeling of wanting to be loved) but still think it's too focussed perhaps or misleading (on quick look of all of this new word to me...)
Hmm... maybe feeling of wanting to be loved / accepted is the root of this...
@freeschool
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I'm not the best resource, but I like the word. I mean, I always have a different take on everything, it will never be everyone else's definition you get from me. That bit about life was just me, probably.
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I think I've seen Autists talking about it in connection with the way we can often treat inanimate things as alive, like still worrying about our favourite old lost toy, like that, maybe.
@punishmenthurts Excellent, good to know as a kind of disclaimer and useful to hear either way.
How is the server your on / autistics.life - happy with it as provider and conversations there locally?
@punishmenthurts Hi possible spelling error:
"hut" instead of "hurt" ?
- page 18 of PDF (I've made a few quote online today and great readding, please also keep PDF link the same as I've linked to it, thanks)
More potential places in the text to have a look at, if interested:
I quote:
"
Every anthropologist has a story about how small Indigenous groups retain any
egalitarianism and it’s about nipping it in the bud when some Big Man wants to start
telling people what to do by force, by nudging said would be boss off a cliff.
"
"would-be boss" (adding hyphen) at the end would really help here to show you're talking the future person being a boss rather than "would be" in the usual sense not meant in your sentence.
@freeschool
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bookmarking these, ty.
Glad you’re liking it.
@punishmenthurts As self-diagnosed Autist it might be natural to a lot of time on something but spend all day on it (as I have) not always and it's rare to have thinkers sometimes actually able to communicate... so think about what do next as a natural next step if you assume 2 willing people can do something....
e.g. Spoken audio version? Would have tone and inflection a lot better...
Voice conversation/// for others to ''get it' more with my basic questions...
etc
Really if even just a bit of energy is there to push on then testing it a bit is a good idea...
We as whatever labels need to continue more things together if genuine in whatever they do which I am... so saying this before I finish reading that you could think ahead of time so it's not just a "read it and that's it" kind of thing.
@freeschool
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it was kind of my swansong to get it typed and I’m not very energetic, and surely my diction isn’t good enough. But if you think it helps, somebody ought to, I guess.
@punishmenthurts Swansong can mean many things, what do you mean?
@freeschool
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I’m Autistic in my mid-sixties, so eighty really, tired, depressed, out of breath with health issues . . . I thought I’d done what I came to Earth to do just by writing it.
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I mean, it’s open source by me, have it, do it, spread the word. Please mention my name, but I’m not going to sue anyone who gets anyone to read it, that’s what I want.
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I’ll try that link sometime, I’m just saying, I’m not a trained speaker, I was a stutterer, and I still have my accent, thick enough even I hear it (white Canuck, west coast), an awful twang. 😘
@freeschool
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Download it, anyone who is interested in the Spanking Gene, because you have to pay for a domain name so I assume the blog won’t survive me when I go.
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And again, tell ‘em where you got it, but it’s free.
@punishmenthurts
Appreciate those things and even how serious it is.
At the same time, yes the time is nigh whenever you feel like "now for a bit of reading 1min for that bugger freeschool"
...maybe a hot beverage sitting next to you while you record... 🍵 ✌️ 🎤
Thank You x 10
@punishmenthurts
Maybe your diction is good !
If you're using these kinds of words and able to write there is a good chance (and proof) you can but it's mixed feelings so...
...if you're not good at something then it's probably your self-approval that is poor rather than ability 8)
So I claim a bit of sabotage on your part... which is fine but let me be the judge with this suggestion...
Record 1minute of reading here
- this microphone site helps do it without any other software and just send me the link after recording? (and I'll confirm about your diction)
@freeschool
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you know, "limerence?
(also some echolalia, but driven by limerence?)
It's about not letting go, to me it's about not accepting that I have to live with decisions and actions people made "in error," about the things in life that didn't have to happen and completely alter or destroy your world anyway . . . ?