mandlebro @mandlebro@qoto.org

lol it's snowing

Why is elisp so bad?

I recently decided that my PhD program was a massive sunken cost trap. I've become entrenched in theory, but I'm not moving any closer to a career. I don't want to be an academic, someone who is just publishing to publish and not producing anything actually worthwhile. So I have to leave to prevent my self from rotting in the university's putrid still waters.

When I'm going through all theses companies' shitty websites and filling out their identical job application forms I am actually applying to anything? Are these all just a front to pretend like there is an open hiring process?

Holy fuck, I wish people would stop telling the daily covid bullshit that they read from shitty new articles on the internet that are incorrectly (as always) reporting on swarm of journal articles shat out on the various arxives by half baked academics hoping to capitolize on the recent trend to grab some of that sweet sweet grant money for them and there buddies. If one more person says ANYTHING to me about the long term effects of covid I may explode. WE DON'T KNOW YET AND I ALREADY HAVE READING TO DO WITHOUT READING SOMEONES HALFBAKED SEIR MODELING PAPER TO TRY TO FIGURE OUT WHATS REAL OR NOT.

Is there a reason the finguring here is so fucky? Is it just to avoid repeating notes with the same finger?

I've been listening to some Beethoven recently. There's been an incredible amount of cynicism and bitterness flowing around recently but to succumb to that sort of attitude and constantly assume the worst of all those who disagree with you is a degenerate state of mind. By that I mean it leads to decay and not progress. Beethoven tends to attenuate negativity in me because although his music is full of darkness and turmoil it is always optimistic in the end.

Today I discovered Richter's performance of the sonata pathetique, Beethoven's 8th sonata (out of 32). Especially in Richter's the first movement is dark and anxious. Richter add's and accelerando to the grave in the introduction and plays with a violent percision. But all of this gives away to one of the most beautiful and nostalgic melodies ever put to paper in the second movement transitioning a third down from C minor to A flat major. In the third movement returns to C minor but lacks the darkness of the first, feeling more like an excited dance.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=teUW_NstKWY