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Dumbledore should really do background checks before hiring new professors.
-Zenguard, Jul 2015

We said goodbye to this sweet angel today. My heart is broken and I really hate grief.

(ID: a beautiful dark Siamese cat curled up with her eyes closed on top of the couch. Just a close up of her face.)

When Bill Gates sits down in a cafe, it's average customer instantly becomes a
billionaire.
-TheEnemyOfMyAnenome, Sep 2015
Old people don't drive slow. Slow drivers live to be old people.
-gelatinous_poot, Sep 2015
The man who submitted the world record for smallest dick has the biggest
balls.
-Televirus, Nov 2015
A dildo can also be called a selfie stick.
-Brain_Beam, Oct 2015
Computer labs should flicker its lights every now and then, to remind students
to save their work.
-EetzRusheen, Apr 2014
I wish I could meet everyone born at the exact same time as I was and compare
each of our lives up to this point.
-trance_lovers, Jul 2016
A programmer programmed the program that programmers use for programming
programs.
-PlamenDrop, May 2016
Suicide doesn't ends the pain. It passes to someone else.
-dwightaroundya, Mar 2015
What if the saying "money doesn't grow on trees" was invented by rich people
so we don't find their money trees?
-ChiefBigwilly, Sep 2015
Saying you handle transactions for a multi-billion dollar company is way
better than saying you're a cashier at McDonald's
-sireman, May 2015
I can tell how productive I was, at work, by how much battery my cell phone
has left when I leave.
-[deleted], Oct 2014
Antarctica only has northern coasts
-[deleted], Mar 2015
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QOTO: Question Others to Teach Ourselves
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