I wanted to apologize to anyone who may have mistaken my pronouns in my profile as an intent to mock the use of pronouns.

The intent was always that I am happy to use whatever pronouns a person wishes that they feel best represents respect shown to them. Likewise I asked for pronouns to be used for me that also shows respect. It was intended to be a two way street not a mockery.

I have since added a note to my profile to make it quite clear my pronouns are not intended to mock.

@freemo I considered a humorous presentation of my pronouns but decided against it. The topic of pronouns is not yet mature enough in society for people to have a sense of humor about it, but it will come.

@shuttersparks @freemo Back when I was a young adult, people were still struggling with how to address women, eventually dropping "Miss", but still even now retaining Mrs. to some extent, along with Ms. It was the case that you couldn't even address a woman about anything, without knowing whether or not they were sexually available.

It was also true that many of my older relatives were quite distressed by people with long hair who they couldn't categorize in some very casual encounter, like walking down the street. And why did that matter?

My hope is that as the "need" to continuously pigeonhole people by gender fades we'll have much less need for the use of pronouns.

Meanwhile I agree with Phil that this is currently a hot button issue. For example, in a group situation where we were all going around the room introducing ourselves using our pronouns, I was madly trying to make mental notes so as to participate correctly in the discussion to follow. Thus, when it was my turn, I suggested that perhaps for practical purposes, we could all just use "they'. Maybe that should be the new normal. This was not well received, and I am currently back to being a somewhat floundering participant in such situations.

For Dr. Freemo, I'd say that I took your description initially as somewhat silly. But silliness is dangerously close to mockery (I think it is nearly impossible to be a comedian these days). Also, if taken seriously, addressing someone else as "Sir" has serious overtones of privilege and supremacy. I'd just admit that you didn't recognize that some would take actual offense but you are learning.

And, let's face it. Current controversies have put you under a microscope these days. That's a consequence of taking an active role here at Mastodon. Supporting openness and individuality while not squelching the aspirations of others is a complicated thing. Essentially an impossible conundrum for human behavior in groups, but worth not giving up on.

I suppose I should go back to my profile and add pronouns.

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@Gaythia @freemo Yeah, I'm old and lived through the Ms. evolution. I remember how bizarre it sounded in the beginning. Now I find that young ladies interpret Miss as extra respectful and there are plenty of young married ladies that like the Mrs. I just go with the flow.

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