"I am silent, save the soft clack of my keyboard. I ponder deeply over the current quandary; progress has been slow of late, and late it is indeed.
Drip, rumble: the sounds of rain outside my window softly caress the ragged corners of my mind with the temptation of a dark, warm shower to cut off the assault on my senses. I know even in my damp solitude I cannot escape my yoke, for my mind continues to pull it.
Piano notes flit gently like moths drawn to my ears. They hit their targets with unexpected force, each chord jolting my fraying psyche into focus anew, if only for a brief moment. I continue working as I have done all day: beyond my limit.
Thoughts of sleep haunt me, the desire for true repose I don't believe will come; only a poor facsimile which provides barely enough to complete another day.
'Why?'
The question echoes in my mind. After hours of staring at a blinking cursor, and countless error messages, I fail to steel myself into action. I am finally still.
After what seems like both an instant and eternity, I decide rest may prove more fruitful, and head to sleep. Before my drift into that all too temporary bliss, I pray I will finally awaken with renewed vitality."
--My life right now 😩 😭
@johnabs @jmw150
Would love to support you even in the 'therapy' of talking about, but also in managing your own expectations but 'alone' (uncared for) it can seem no other options and while I might 2 bad suggestions soft-pushed your way, the 3rd suggestion or combination of all might actual kick-start your own answers :)
But yes feel to ask me and point out also what is NOT working (as it helps me see overall what affects the many today) and really it's a skill I have where it's like people find the answer from someone else (even if they are wrong) but telling them how... :D
Well whenever you're up for it, Jitsi Meet is my favourite instant chat (feel free to try it while I'm not there)
https://meet.jit.si/chataboutit
Yeah, you can really go ham here. It is like researcher city.
Only about a month left of this semester. Hang in there buddy.
@freeschool @jmw150 I'm on 5 research projects (some with collaborators who've decided to bail last minute), teaching a course with minimal help from the new instructor, and taking a course as well.
That little blurb has been my life since mid march...I'm so tired 🥲