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Sadly no, as you've noticed even accidental suspensions cause harm to the users of both instances.
Qoto has a little workaround where you can 'keep' those connections from your end. Follow _and_ subscribe to them. If there's a brief (accidental) suspension, you're still seeing them via subscription. They won't be following you anymore, of course. But at least you could see who you're not following anymore (as the follow icon won't be colored).
I'm contemplating doing that to all I follow. :P You won't be seeing stuff double or anything that I've seen.
@peterdrake I did it manually. But the way I did it was going to my profile, click on 'Following', and then just click on the subscribe buttons of everyone in that list down there (except those on Qoto, I skip those as that's not necessary, unless Freemo manages to fuck up something royally with this codebase. :D)
@peterdrake you could script it using [Mastodon.py](https://github.com/halcy/Mastodon.py). First you'll need an instance of the Mastodon class set up with your credentials - mine is called `qoto` in the below snippet. Then loop over your followers, get each's id, and call the following internal function (since Mastodon.py doesn't know about QOTO's nonstandard subscribe feature):
```
qoto._Mastodon__api_request('POST', f'/api/v1/accounts/{id}/subscribe').
```