You #liveandlearn! (Terms a conditions do apply)
I once again failed to receive my #oscar for acting naturally! 🎭 🏆
I just found out that Yo-Yo Ma has a #sibling named Yo-Ma. 🎻
When you spend all week preparing for #marchforth riots only to discover that #cancelculture has stepped in and ruined everything! Again! What am I supposed to do with all these buckets of #popcorn and gallons of sugary soda? 🚀
(Soft knocks at the door)
CONGress: Who is it?
META: It's me, MetaDataDave. Open up, man, I got the stuff.
(More knocks)
CONGress: Who is it?
META: It's me, MetaDataDave, man. Open up, I got the stuff.
CONGress: Who?
META: It's, MetaDataDave, man. Open up, I think the cops saw me come in here.
(More knocks)
CONGress: Who is it?
META: It's, MetaDataDave, man. Will you open up, I got the stuff with me.
CONGress: Who?
META: MetaDataDave, man. Open up.
CONGress: MetaDataDave?
META: Yeah, MetaDataDave. C'mon, man, open up, I think the cops saw me.
CONGress: MetaDataDave's not here.
META: No, man, I'm MetaDataDave, man.
(Sharp knocks at the door)
META: Hey, c'mon, man.
CONGress: Who is it?
META: It's MetaDataDave, man. Will you open up? I got the stuff with me.
CONGress: Who?
META: MetaDataDave, man. Open up.
CONGress: MetaDataDave?
META: Yeah, MetaDataDave.
CONGress: MetaDataDave's not here.
META: What the hell? No, man, I am MetaDataDave, man. Will you...
(More knocks)
META: C'mon! Open up the door, will you? I got the stuff with me, I think the cops saw me.
CONGress: Who is it?
META: Oh, what the hell is it... c'mon. Open up the door! It's MetaDataDave!
CONGress: Who?
META: MetaDataDave! META-DATA-D-A-V-E! Will you open up the goddam door!
CONGress: MetaDataDave?
META: Yeah, MetaDataDave!
CONGress: MetaDataDave?
META: Right, man. MetaDataDave. Now will you open up the door?
CONGress: MetaDataDave's not here
He touched us all!
Sounds great on a #gravestone, not so great for a sitting NY state #governor ✋
Amending my previous statement.
I #identify as a labelx.
I #identify as a label.
Now what citizen #texans need is Class Action #bankruptcy! #solvingproblems #capitalism
Taking #socialdistancing to a new level. #hermit lives matter.
According to 2016 metrics, #neeratanden will be running for president in #2024.
They failed to realize they weren't currently on #4chan.
Congratulations #nasa! As they prepare #marscopter #ingenuity to be the first powered flight on a #roundplanet! 💽
Matt Damon is slated to star in the sequel to the film, The Martian.
What does Texas and Mars have in common?
Neither has #electricity or #water #texas #mars
Just saw on #fakenews #cnn that the Mars Rover landed. So apparently just another #fakemoonlanding! And that view of the craft, totally looked like a cartoonish animation! You don't fool anyone fake news CNN!
#fakemarslanding! 🚀
One would think, with all that oil laying about under #texas, if you just set it all on fire, that would resolve that #blizzard issue. #solvingproblems 🛢️
I just might be serious! (don't eat the onion)
#AvidIndoorsman
Looking for a Princess, my pet dragon is famished!