grief and loss 

We put my dog to sleep yesterday afternoon. She was a 15 year old labrador named Abby. I love her, and I tried to make sure she knew that, every day. On one one hand, I'm glad that she is released from her pain, as she was arthritic and had cancer, but on the other hand it rips me apart. Goodbye, Abby. I will always love you. I am so happy that you are at peace in Heaven.

Rescheduled, just did the phone screening (shouldn’t have wrote interview); went pretty well.

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The original discoverer of Insulin refused to collect patents on the drug due to the vital role the drug played in saving lives. He would be ashamed of this.

I ghosted the interview due to nerves

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Really stressed about this phone interview tomorrow. Particularly with the “excellent communication skills” and “excellent teamwork” requirement. The tech skills, however, are fairly low: Java, jelly script, html. I’m nonetheless not sure I know how to “design conceptual and working models to ensure consistency in architecture and design/code practice”

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@RecursiveRabbit @Siphonay I'm paraphrasing this, but

Capitalism: Under communism and socialism you can't own anything

Also Capitalism: Our stuff is only available through subscription lol

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@togs

Anyways, I’m training for the deli starting 8 am tomorrow. I’ll be just as lost as when I started register, but I’ll slowly and painfully improve through lots of little moments of “oh god what do I do in this situation, focus”

Perhaps it’s too early too say that it’s all about getting out of the comfort zone, but even if it isn’t, I feel like that trivializes the effort. It sucks. The anxious feeling grows infinitely as time tends toward the moment.

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@togs

People really color the experience. It’s drab at best and drudge at worst, and yet just being real and existing is enough. I don’t care if you’re the most unimpressive mf in the world. It’s better then being alone with images that tell you to hate yourself and everyone else.

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@togs so that was a thing. Not bad. Local small grocery. Lucky to have it tbh (I could be working at Walmart). Delivered groceries to elders, then worked register for first time ever. That made me feel dumb. I was also visibly uncomfortable at points. Exposure therapy. Half the point of this is to a) have a job and b) get some social skills. doing uncomfortable things is never easy and mistakes will happen and it will hurt, but that’s how we grow I guess. Fall down n, get up n+1

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@fakemaxkeeble its wild because advertising is a means of inducing demand, so producers know that they are attempting to influence people to buy things while at the same time shaming them for doing so. its such a wacky contradiction

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Looking good, feeling bad part 2 featuring a scarf from a friend

(selfie, eye contact, boosts good)

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Risotto. Why is it brown? Mushrooms; two pounds.

Its taste, not offensive, yet bland. I expected more from myself.

I just need to learn but 10,000x faster

Last time I cooked with habaneros i aerosolized them (lots of coughing)

This time went better

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yeah i think cloud gaming is a phenomenal idea. my favorite part of online gaming is the lag, and i think it's a big problem that i can't also get it in singleplayer games

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Do you want share files in a secure and private way?

Use Onionshare onionshare.org/

#security #privacy

Please boost.

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