@shuttersparks @freemo Back when I was a young adult, people were still struggling with how to address women, eventually dropping "Miss", but still even now retaining Mrs. to some extent, along with Ms. It was the case that you couldn't even address a woman about anything, without knowing whether or not they were sexually available.

It was also true that many of my older relatives were quite distressed by people with long hair who they couldn't categorize in some very casual encounter, like walking down the street. And why did that matter?

My hope is that as the "need" to continuously pigeonhole people by gender fades we'll have much less need for the use of pronouns.

Meanwhile I agree with Phil that this is currently a hot button issue. For example, in a group situation where we were all going around the room introducing ourselves using our pronouns, I was madly trying to make mental notes so as to participate correctly in the discussion to follow. Thus, when it was my turn, I suggested that perhaps for practical purposes, we could all just use "they'. Maybe that should be the new normal. This was not well received, and I am currently back to being a somewhat floundering participant in such situations.

For Dr. Freemo, I'd say that I took your description initially as somewhat silly. But silliness is dangerously close to mockery (I think it is nearly impossible to be a comedian these days). Also, if taken seriously, addressing someone else as "Sir" has serious overtones of privilege and supremacy. I'd just admit that you didn't recognize that some would take actual offense but you are learning.

And, let's face it. Current controversies have put you under a microscope these days. That's a consequence of taking an active role here at Mastodon. Supporting openness and individuality while not squelching the aspirations of others is a complicated thing. Essentially an impossible conundrum for human behavior in groups, but worth not giving up on.

I suppose I should go back to my profile and add pronouns.

@Gaythia @freemo Yeah, I'm old and lived through the Ms. evolution. I remember how bizarre it sounded in the beginning. Now I find that young ladies interpret Miss as extra respectful and there are plenty of young married ladies that like the Mrs. I just go with the flow.

@Gaythia

I'm in no place to decide what @freemo should or not do for pronouns. Or anyone *else* for that matter. I don't want to open a potential friendship with, "Hey, I noticed you didn't have pronouns/ Geez, mocking pronouns I see?" I mean, unless they made it so clear they were jerks, in which case I'd not bother to address them at all, or do so only as needed and be on guard. I saw "mister", I thought it was ... not what I'd choose, left it at that, moved on. At that time I had other priorities like, "What the hell is this instance thing about and why should I care?"

I do see what you are saying as "Sir" short for "Mister" short for "Master." I don't know how many people actually think of it, and as mentioned, "other priorities."

It would not be my choice to put up pronouns that could be seen as mocking. I think it would be a poor choice. But I'm not in a position to worry about it. Again, other priorities. @freemo is free to make his own choices, even if I disagree with them. I find no "fatal flaw." Yet. >:)
@shuttersparks

@Romaq @freemo @shuttersparks Most of the reason we use words is for communicating with other people. And introductions are for people we haven't met yet, and who have little or no other information upon which to base an opinion.. I think that people who have been marginalized in various ways may have sensitivities that others ought to try to recognize and respect.

@Romaq @Gaythia @freemo @shuttersparks
I'm a 70 year-old working in a grocery store with an official first name culture. Many of my co-employees call me Mr. Pat out of respect for my age. It grates a little (in ancient history I was an NCO for nearly 15 years), but I accept their intent, smile and respond as the conversation directs.

@Pjcoyle @Gaythia @freemo @shuttersparks Our Company President goes first name only, and he served as an Army officer, Major I believe, until he left. The liason from our parent company is Mr. ********, from Japan, of a different culture on such things.

During the early dark days of the Pandemic, I recall Mr. ****** wandering the production floor on the weekend, smiling and being friendly with us, even as we were all WTF/ stuff gettin' real. Both were there with us at that dark time... ON A WEEKEND. I wouldn't say I'd die for them, but yeah... I'd die for them.

How one would choose to be addressed and how they present their pronouns or not? If they are not being an obvious jackass, I've got stuff to do. I'd rather be doing the things that would build people up to be their best selves in truth and honesty.

@Gaythia

History always repeats itself it seems... this is sad, but i was thinking on these parallels as well.

@shuttersparks

@shuttersparks

Too large a segment with pronoun issues have a justifiable lack of humor concerning them. I initially put them in my Bird Site bio as respect and solidarity. I didn't see until later it makes a FANTASTIC filter to be rid of people too full of themselves to engage with anyway. The same people who get really worked up if you use the wrong pronouns for God.

@freemo

@Biggles In retrospec I can see how they might have mistaken it for mockery... but yea, you'd think they would ask rather than assume I guess.