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I would love to undertand better the reason/psychology/development of some homosexual men to speak in that distinctive way of speaking that seems exclusive to gay men. Like it isnt an accent, and doesnt seem to occur naturally since its exclusive to that group. Do gay men make it a point to learn to speak that way at some point? If so why?
My best guess is as a way to show their orientation publicly to signal to other gay men, in an effort to creat connections or find companions that are also gay? But that would imply its a conscious thing they learnedto do at some point?
PS please no inconsiderate responses. Be respectful people.
So that way of speaki g is just somehow attractive to what gay men want? Hmm that would explain why it is hard for me to ubderstand, but makes sense if thats the case.
I am not sure about it, but my simple conclusion from watching my gay brother's friends.
Ive talked about it with gays before and most seem curious about what causes it as well. That said i never heard the perspective about it from someone who expresses themselves in that way. Obviously it woukd be awkward to ask directly. Would be awesome if such a person sees this and feels compelled to join in.
@freemo
It's probably less conscious than that. People start to mimic what they hear in order to fit in, like picking up an accent when you move to an area with a different one.
Coukd be. But one pointed out people seem to start doing this before they enter the gay community in a seemingly autonomous way at a you g age. If that is true it would seem its not as simple as that.
@freemo well, think about yourself. Do you ever find yourself speaking a different way around certain people as a conscious or unconscious way of relating to them, especially as a positive way of matching them, showing kinship?
I think that happens to a lot or even most of us.
We codeswitch as a way of engaging with other humans.
@volkris I actually dont but i recognize myself as the exception. Adoping cultural expressions like slang, dialect, accents, fashion styles, or other expressions is something I am strongly averse to. I find it a failing of humans in the genrral sense and not something to adopt.
For example i am from philly and people ofte remark that i lack a philly accent. My accent is generic and as close to having no accent as one can reasonably get.
But to your point, i did figure at first it was an adaptation to the expression of the group they are in. But one thing pointed out is that people who express themselves in this way often begin at a youbg age before joining the gay community or even knowing they were gay.
@freemo sounds like you prefer to have a generic accent.
Which is itself the adoption of an accent--a generic one :)
@volkris sure ill tske that. I mean its not that ge eral. Id say its a generalized northen USA accent basically. Even by southern or UK standards its still an accent.
@freemo Much of it is just natural femininity that has been stamped out of most men at a young age. Gender, and its expressions, are a spectrum, but society enforces a strict divide on us and forces us to choose a side.
What you're seeing are people bucking that trend and living their authentic selves. That's why you also see the distaff counterpart: butch lesbians.
@LouisIngenthron If that were true im not sure it woukd be exclusive to gay men. It might show a lean towards gay and bi men sure, but it appears pretty much exclusive to gay men.
It also doesnt strike me as feminin. Like a trans woman who was once male will try to speak in a more feminin tone and that doesnt at all resemble the expression we are describing here.
@freemo Oh, it's not exclusive to gay men. There are straight men who use that voice. Usually, they are referred to as "metrosexual". It's just that straight men have *significant* societal pressure to speak "normally" if they want to ever get laid or be employed, whereas gay men have the opposite incentive (at least for the getting laid part). I truly believe that *every* man has that voice inside him... just a matter of how close to the surface it gets.
As for the thing about trans women: many of them are seeking, above all, to fit in as their new gender, so they tone a lot down. But there are absolutely women (cis and trans) who are every bit as catty as the gayest men. Just watch any reality show on TV, lol.
That could be. Ive met metrosexuals, usually thry get manicures and body sculpting, but never met one who spoke in that voice. Perhaps its regional as my hometown, even among gays, that way of speaking is nonexistant. I only see it often when traveling. I fact 90% of my exposure to it is probably from male flight attendants whom i only assume (perhaps incorrectly) are gay.
@freemo Homosexual men seem to be well-spoken but the level of skill is very impressive. I believe homosexual men tend to be more intelligent than their heterosexual counterparts.
I can't describe it.
@AmpBenzScientist generally speaking intelligent people are more likely to go against social norms. So while i dont think being gay means you are more intelligent i do think being openly gay tends to lean towards higher IQ people.
I think this isn't true without some additional qualification? After all, all petty crime, vandalism, littering, aimless churlishness etc. is against social norms. I think I get what you mean though, but am also missing a term for that kind of social norm contravening.
Being against something simply for being a social norm isnt the same as having nonpressure to follow social norms. With theblatter you will still use your discretion but something being against a social norm wont weigh your decision as much as other factors.
@freemo
My amateur take; I don't think it is to signal that they are gay, but to make themselves more attractive to some other types or gay men. Speech, mannerism, grooming and fashion in a complete package.
Some women are doing the same thing to attract straight men that appreciate such.