I am in the unfortunate position of needing to consider rehoming my puppy if nothing else works, and I'm hoping something will, because I'll be heartbroken if I have to give her up.
She is eating up every moment of my time with severe (what seems to be) separation anxiety which means I've barely gotten any work done at all. I'm exhausted, and so is my wife, who already has attentional issues, and the lack of sleep has just made functioning at all with such a demanding pup so much harder.
We're at the end of our rope here, and as much as I absolutely adore this dog, I'm not sure my wife and I can provide what she needs, whatever it is. If anyone else here has struggled with something similar and has advice, please let me know. We're desperate.
Get another one.
@johnabs bro - I agree with @Pat but another alternative would be to train her like so:
- leave for 20 seconds (I.e close the door even if she starts crying)
- come back and pet + play with her (reward)
- leave for 40 seconds
- come back and pet + play with her (reward)
- leave for 60 seconds
- come back and pet + play with her (reward)
- leave for 2 minutes
- come back and pet + play with her + food
- leave for 3 minutes
- come back and pet + play with her + food
- leave for 5 minutes
- come back and pet + play with her + food
- leave for 10 minutes
- come back and pet + play with her + food
...
Until you get to a point where she can go hours (this might take several days) of being able to be alone in a room. Additionally, it's normal for young pups to occasionally cry when you leave. Last I had one when I was a teen he cried the first three days when I had to go to school. Afterwards he got used to me leaving in the mornings.
@johnabs the hardest thing to provide is exercise and that's usually what various problems stem from. An active dog would need 10-15 minutes of intensive exercise several times a day, and until she learns some games like fetching, it will be somewhat intense for you as well to get her going. In my experience if you provide that, everything else just magically gets easier, and otherwise the dog demands constant attention. And intense means really intense like running around until that tongue is out. Initially it might help to take a break from everything else and dedicate a week or two to figuring out a routine that works for both of you.
@johnabs @Pat @zpartacoos @namark
Eventually you'll need to pass on the puppy or have it for a last supper.
[joke]
The mismatch is too wide in distance to actively maintain / prioritise monitoring it - though I'm all for trying a bit more too.
Just think of ways to do that slowly and between you agree perhaps that if someone wants it you already know the answer.
Ideally a place where it fits more naturally with activity of puppy and people around, like a bigger family who has more kids...
something like that I think going forward...
@Pat @zpartacoos @namark
Thanks for your advice everyone! My wife and I finally got a bit of a break to regroup and think out a new strategy we'll be trying once our puppy gets back from our in-laws this weekend. She's having a blast with their 5 kids, and we think something that really excites her and tires her out is meeting new people, which we'll try to incorporate into her routine!
She already learned fetch which helps with her activity needs, and after spending some time with their boys she was just tuckered out. Worst case scenario, she seems like a great fit for their family, since they have so many hands on deck to keep her occupied, but we're going to do our best to provide an awesome home for this dog and play it by ear with my in-laws too!